email your views to or log on to MESSAGEBOARD 10 Monday, 2 November 2009 London Lite ITS 1.23am and I have back-to- school blues. Any ideas how to beat it and get some sleep? Dozy, Brixton Mo (Txts, Fri): last year I grew a fine moustache for charity during November. This year my boss has banned all tache-growing as he believes it looks unprofessional for City attire. Thoughts? Hairy, London PLEA (Txts, Fri): drivers go faster in Smart cars because they are nippier and more fun -- unless you drive on the Dartford crossing on a windy day! Polly, SW1A PLEA: we have to prove we are not electric and slow. Robin, Croydon whATS with the squeaky pull- down trays on London trains? Give them a spot of oil Boris, please! Sensitive ears, KT2 ArE there any brave posties out there who disagree with the post strikes and dared cross the picket line? If so, good on you. Birthdaycardless, Essex Four months gone (Txts, Fri): I told a lady in a pub that she shouldnt be drinking if shes pregnant. It turned out to be a wardrobe malfunction. Im minding my own business from now on! Embarrassed, London Four months gone: London underground can provide you with a lovely little baby on board badge to save any blushes. KT, London AM I the only person to notice that Louis walsh appears to have had an eyelift in time for the new series of X Factor? Observant, KT6 To the cellist who didnt laugh at me falling on my bum on the Tube at Stockwell on Friday night: thank you, youre a beautiful person and made my night! Helen, Brixton ANDy (Txts, Fri): hiccups are caused by high acidity (Co2) levels in blood, not by confused reflexes. hiccups make you draw in oxygen, relieving the imbalance. Ash, SE9 SoMEoNE please tell me why Tube trains make that dreadful screeching noise when going in and out of stations. Its giving me a headache. WD40 fan, KT6 hAPPy (Txts, Fri): we gentlemen are standing by to see whether chivalry is worth resurrecting. Dave, W14 whErE do the fun-loving ladies go in the winter? Allyear, HA3 MEDICINE man (Txts, Thurs): there used to be a great student bar in Kings hospital, Camberwell, called The Penthouse. It used to be full of trainee doctors and nurses. Does it still exist? Phil, SE23 To ThE man repeatedly shouting on the train: Are you going to be quiet? obviously the irony was lost on you! L&G, RM8 PETEr (Txts, Fri): the Serpentine herons probably come from herons eggs! Im an Eggspurt, N19 Is Smith right about herself? IF SWEETS are going retro by bringing back old favourites such as shrimps, pictured, they should bring back the old sizing, too. I remember when Mars bars were so big they were impossible to finish in one sitting. Those were great days -- and no obesity! Rosaline, London I USED to live off white aniseed balls. Waitrose is missing a trick by releasing them after Christmas. These would be perfect for festive stockings. Anthony, south London DO THEY still have penny trays? As a kid I would go after school and stock up on Black Jacks, Fruit Salads and Arrow Bars. Alan, London THEY need to make Cadburys taste like it used to. The Flake bars, especially, seem to have a sour milk aftertaste. H Adams, Camden ThoSE who say legalise cannabis should first take a look at alcohol. It is freely available making widespread harm is inevitable. Although cannabis is accessible, the buyer must cross a moral and legal barrier. Thus most people steer clear and the harm is minimised. Mighty Healthy, TW9 BrAvo to the police for catching a bus to get to a crime scene. It might resemble Keystone Kops but whatever works! Tony, London Another thing IsnewOxfordCircusbetter?ShouldKellyposterhavebeencensored? Whats your top retro sweet? Getitoff your txtYour mobile moans To be considered for publication, texts must be submitted with name and address or postcode. Please restrict messages to 25 WORDS. Thanks. >>Text TELLUS to 65800 followed by a space and your messageEach text costs 25p plus standard network charges >>Text LL TELLUS to 65400 Terms apply. See F ORMER Home Secretary Jacqui Smith was right to admit her disgrace regarding the MPs expenses scandal and acknowl- edge she has no right to sit in the House of Lords. She claimed her main property was a house she shared with her sister and then claimed tens of thousands of pounds of taxpayers money for her family home. Peter Mandelson and Michael Martin have publicly disgraced the Lords with their presence, having elbowed aside their scandal shame and bullied their way through responsibility. Theyve been at the forefront of lowering standards. Geoffrey, London AT LEAST Ms Smith has reverted to a once-valued British tradition in taking personal responsibility for mistakes. Doing the right thing used to be impor- tant in our society. People lived by a code of personal integrity. With its collapse weve seen chaos. Let us hope Ms Smith is just in the vanguard of a sweeping change. Kelly H, London I WATCHED Ms Smith on Question Time last week and she took quite a kicking. Did I feel sorry for her? No, she took the money and is now the subject of public scru- tiny. But at l e a s t sh e didnt bleat about it like BNP leader Nick Grif- fin. He, too, was challenged on the show about his misdemeanours but the next day he complained that he had been bullied. Richard, London I WAS very interested by the phras- ing of Ms Smiths admission. She said she was disgraced rather than a disgrace. It was almost as if she was talking about the reaction to her swindling and her subsequent treatment, rather t h a n h e r actions. Fiona G, Hackney I F S H E knows that she has been a disgrace, why does Ms Smith not resign immediately? Oh, yes, because she can claim her pension and get more money off the taxpayer. That is another disgrace to add to her list. Nathan, Wimbledon Textpoll Q: Was it right to sack drugs tsar? OurlastresultShould Miliband get the EU president job? YES 18% NO 82%*Texts charged at 50p plus your standard network rate. Terms and conditions apply. See Text LL POLL YES or LL POLL NO followed by your first name and postcode to 65400or at Disgrace Jacqui is not alone Admission: Ms Smith apologised for expenses your Lite? Dont miss a single edition! Log on to: index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html24.html25.html26.html27.html28.html29.html30.html31.html32.html33.html34.html35.html36.html37.html38.html39.html40.html41.html42.html43.html