IN&OUTTONIGHT Mark the shows you love. See your own personal TV schedule. Share with your friends. Just text LL TV to 65400 Texts to 65400 are charged at standard rate. The service connects to the internet; data is charged at your operators standard rate. Free from London Lite BBC1 11AM 6PM 7PM 8PM 9PM 10PM 11PM TONIGHTSTV 28 Friday, 30 October 2009 London Lite Middle-earths very own comic Bill Bailey: Tinselworm Channel 4, 10pm The Armstrong And Miller Show BBC1, 9.30pm More feats of comedy alchemy as the duo continue to elevate mediocre sketches to a level of genuine mirth through sheer performance skills. Having said that, theres one good addition to the ideas bank, as Alexander Armstrong, right, plays a royal correspondent whos not exactly sticking his neck out. What will Prince Harry be thinking after his toe operation? Undoubtedly thoughts will be passing through his brain, I can say that. B ill Bailey brings s e v e r a l r a r e a n d wonderful qualities to stand-up. For a start, obviously, hes a troll (some claim hes human, but i think the evidence is overwhelming). Hes fiendishly intelligent, devoting his sharp wits to ingenious but largely victimless gags (take note, Jimmy Carr). and while most comics seem to have chosen their career by virtue of being too dysfunc- tional for anything else, Baileys also a superb musician -- not for nothing does he look like the long-lost member of Supertramp. The whole pack- age of talents fills Wembley arena in every sense in tonights concert film. its a big show, with specialUnique: Bill Bailey has a performance style all his own Coronation Street ITV1, 7.30pm/8.30pm Tony (Gray oBrien, right) is rushed to hospital after roy acts quickly to get an ambulance. Will roy be able to get hold of Maria with Tony so suddenly stricken? And Jake proves he has literally nothing to hide by asking Michelle out while wearing just a towel. He might not keep even that on... alley cat clawing the innards of a chicken Kiev out of its eyes shows just how good a physical performer Bailey can be, and is as funny as anything ive seen in a long while. instrumental comedy can often be tedious, but Bailey knows just how far to push things. His rehash of ive got soul but im not a soldier into ive got ham but im not a hamster means you may never take The Killers entirely seri- ously again. The one bum note isnt musi- cal. a long harangue against a certain major supermarket (starts with a, rhymes with Mazda) entirely ignores the fact anyone playing Wembley should think carefully before having a dig at corporate values. But then, as Bailey observes: i analyse too much. Or maybe not enough. 11.00 To Buy or not To Buy (r,S). 11.30 Cash In The Attic (S); BBC news; Weather. 12.15 Bargain Hunt (S). 1.00 BBC news; Weather (S). 1.30 regional news And Weather (S). 1.45 Doctors (S). Jack and Ben make a bet. 2.15 Murder, She Wrote (r,S). Jessica impersonates a friend. 3.00 BBC news; Weather; regional news (S). 3.05 Mister Maker (r,S). 3.25 Uncle Max (r,S). 3.35 eliot Kid (r,S). 3.50 ooglies (r,S). 4.05 Keep your enemies Close (S). 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures (S,HD). 5.00 newsround (S). 5.15 Weakest Link (r,S). 6.00 BBC News (S); Weather. 6.30 BBC Regional News (S); Weather. 7.00 The One Show (S). Live topical show in which correspondents uncover the UKs most fascinating stories. Presented by Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley. Followed by BBC News; Regional News. 8.00 EastEnders (S). Shirley discovers the identity of baby Georges father, Lucas and owen lock horns after a family meal, and Jack tries to pull out of Archies scheme. 8.30 A Question Of Sport (S). With england cricketer ryan Sidebottom, Aston Villa defender Curtis Davies, British & Irish Lions rugby union winger Ugo Monye and olympic 400m champion Christine ohuruogu. 9.00 Have I Got News For You (S). 3/9. Satirical quiz, with guest host Miranda Hart joined by panellists Andrew neil and Mark Steel. 9.30 The Armstrong And Miller Show (S). 3/6. The Second World War pilots are annoyed that people have been talking about them behind their backs. Divorced Dad offers his son advice, and Jilted Jim plays travel boggle. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 BBC News (S). 10.25 BBC Regional News (S); Weather. 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross (S). 9/15. The presenter is joined by veteran actor Christopher Walken, comedian Dara o Briain and young english actor Dominic Cooper, best known for his role in the film version of musical Mamma Mia! Music is provided by Green Day. 11.35 The National Lottery EuroMillions Draw (S). Carole Machin presents the draw. 11.40 The Dark (S) (2005). A girl seemingly drowns, but her mother becomes convinced she is trapped in a shadowy alternative reality. Horror, starring Maria Bello. Followed by Weatherview. 1.15 Sign Zone: emma (r,S). The heroine insults Miss Bates. Last in the series. 2.15 Sign Zone: MasterChef: The Professionals (r,S). 3.00 BBC news (S). Christopher Walken 10.35pm, Friday Night With... PREVIEW BEN FELSENBURG effects, lighting cues and little video inserts, but the best bits see Bailey zoom off on wild tangents in which he trusts us to follow every s p a r k a c r o s s h i s synapses for a few sub- lime minutes. When it works hes brilliant: the leap from Tom Cruise, Scientology and light bulbs to a surprised Benidorm ITV1, 9pm LeTS face it, last weeks Benidorm left something to be desired, and even the presence of robin Askwith wasnt distraction enough to hide the cracks. We do get another guest star tonight, but theres plenty enough going on anyway to make it worth watching again for feather-light entertainment. Una Stubbs turns up as Martins mother-in-law, his estranged wife Kate coming to the rescue after her idiot man fell for blonde Brandys wiles before she conned him out of everything. And theres a misunderstanding between Gavin and Troy about another man... you might just guess the truth.