London Lite Tuesday, 27 October 2009 21 Oceans Eleven ITV2, 9pm (2001) THE ending of the 1960 original is far better, but this star-studded film is still entertaining, has some fantastic action sequences and snappy dialogue -- especially between George Clooney and Julia Roberts, above. Plus, Shaobo Qins gymnastics are amazing. The way he manages to fold himself in half is truly eye-watering. Scream 3 Five USA, 9pm (2000) NEVE CAMPBELL returns as eternal victim Sidney Prescott in this so-so third (and, as a result, final) film in the Scream franchise. All the usual parodies are here -- a cameo actor about to be murdered saying that he feels like a cameo actor about to be murdered -- and the action is set around the making of Stab 3, a horror film about Sidneys life. Tired but entertaining. Jaws 3 ITV4, 11.10pm (1983) THEy really should have stopped at the second one. This time, and Im not making this up, the sons of police chief Brody (from the original) have to save holiday- makers when a psychotic shark becomes trapped in a sea theme park. Unbelievably, a Jaws 4 was made, where the shark stalks the Brody family. But this one stars Dennis Quaid and Lou Gossett, above. The Saint ITV2, 11.20pm (1997) THE secret to a successful big-screen adaptation of a beloved TV series is that you make the movie something like the original. Without ruining the plot, Roger Moore was an immaculately dressed English gent who rarely had to hide his identity. Val Kilmer, above, is good-looking but shabbier by comparison -- and cant seem to go 10 minutes without donning an unconvincing disguise. TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service STEPHEN MARR BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five 10.30 This Morning (S). With Eamonn Holmes. 12.30 Loose Women (S). 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 London News And Weather (S). 2.00 60 Minute Makeover (S). A home transformation in Wembley, north-west London. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S). With Miriam Margolyes and Michael Bolton. 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Midsomer Murders (R,S). Conclusion. The killings continue in the hamlet of Goodmans Land. 5.00 Britains Best Dish (S). The winning main course cooks compete for a place in Thursdays semi-final. 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale (S). A badly bruised Sally suggests Vincent is responsible for her injuries, and Maisie (Alice Coulthard) and Katie bond while working in the stables. 7.30 Grimefighters (S,HD). 14/24. A pest controller relishes the chance to tackle a rat infestation, a raid on a bric-a-brac business reveals a shop of horrors, and an unlicensed food vendor is confronted. 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? (S). Chris Tarrant invites another line-up of contestants to answer questions that could change their lives -- with lifelines Ask the Audience, Phone a Friend and 50-50 available to them if they get stuck. 9.00 7 Days On The Breadline (S). 2/3. As Mel B, Austin Healey, Trinny Woodall and Keith Allen enter the third day with their adoptive families, they struggle to make an impact on the council tenants lives. Trinny tries to convince pensioner Christine there is more to life than gambling, while Keith realises the situation is not as easy as he thought. Narrated by Anna Friel. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather (S). 10.30 London News And Weather (S). 10.35 Dishing The Dirt (S). 3/4. Undercover footage and expert interviews reveal what really goes on behind closed doors in restaurants and takeaways as Britains 70billion food industry comes under the spotlight. 11.30 In Plain Sight (S). 8/15. Mary and Marshall investigate a new witness they suspect may be responsible for a number of murders and the stabbing of one of Marys friends. Laura Prepon guest stars. 12.25 Premiership Rugby Union (R) Highlights of a match in domestic rugbys top-flight competition; ITV News Headlines. 1.15 Loose Women (R). With Aled Jones. 2.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Talk show. 2.55 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Morning News (S). 10.40 Gastronuts (R,S). 11.10 The Flintstones (R,S). 11.35 The Flintstones (R,S). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 12.30 Working Lunch (S). 1.00 All Saints (S). 1.45 Living In The Sun (R,S). 2.30 Animal Park (R,S). Behind the scenes at Longleat. 3.00 Diagnosis Murder (R,S). Steve gets involved with a female serial killer. 3.45 Flog It! (R,S). From Belfast City Hall. 4.30 Are you An Egghead? (S). Past quiz show winners compete to join Eggheads. 5.15 Escape To The Country (S). A couple search for a retirement home in the Lake District. 6.00 Eggheads (S). Quiz show, hosted by Jeremy Vine. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing -- It Takes Two (S). Claudia Winkleman is joined by this weeks saved couple, Jade Johnson and Ian Waite, and examines the highs and lows of the weekends performances. 7.00 Ray Mears Northern Wilderness (R,S). 1/6. The survival expert embarks on a journey through the Canadian wilderness. His adventure begins in the boreal forests at the heart of the country, which are home to a diverse population of animals and plants. 8.00 James Mays Toy Stories (S). 1/4. New series. From houses made of Lego to bridges constructed using Meccano, the Top Gear presenter examines whether classic childrens toys are still relevant by pushing them to extraordinary limits. He begins by trying to encourage a group of reluctant teenagers to help him build a full-sized Spitfire out of Airfix. See Ben Felsenburg 9.00 Horizon (S). Sophie was paralysed from the waist down while celebrating her A level results. A rugby accident caused Anthony to lose his leg on the eve of his 18th birthday, and Dean worries his heart could lead him to an early grave. This documentary follows all three as they embark on a journey to discover whether stem cell research could transform their lives. 10.00 Later Live -- With Jools Holland (S,HD). 7/10. Brooklyn-born neo-soul singer Maxwell promotes his recent work BLACKsummers Night. Also appearing are Welsh rockers Stereophonics, Canadian jazz pianist Diana Krall, Cumbrian indie quartet Wild Beasts and Northumbrian group the Unthanks. 10.30 Newsnight (S). With Kirsty Wark. Followed by Weather. 11.20 The Worlds Greatest Money Maker: Evan Davis Meets Warren Buffett (R,S). Insight into the life of Warren Buffett, the man lauded as the greatest investor of all time. Evan Davis visits the tycoon at his modest Omaha home and finds a man at ease with his vast wealth and learns about the unique business strategy that has helped him stay ahead of the stock market. 12.20 BBC News (S). 3.20 Close. 9.50 Film: Mighty Joe young (S,HD) (1998). Family adventure, with Bill Paxton. 12.00 News At Noon (S). 12.30 Without A Trace (R,S). 1.20 Film: young Sherlock Holmes (S,HD) (1985). Detective adventure, starring Nicholas Rowe. 3.25 Countdown (S). Jane Moore guests. 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Trick Or Treat (S). A Halloween-themed edition of the game show. 5.00 The Paul OGrady Show (S). Actors Anna Friel and James Dreyfus join the comedian for teatime chat and a look at the latest letters from the postbag. 6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 10/21. A hillbillys tirade about Springfield prompts Mayor Quimby to legalise gay marriage in the town. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Newt decides to return the purse to the old lady he mugged, and Ste (Kieron Richardson) is discovered squatting at Relish. 7.00 News (S). 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Wall (S). 2/4. Energetic street artists Burning Candy paint an anonymous wall somewhere in Britain. 8.00 How To Look Good Naked (S). 5/10. Gok Wan comes to the aid of a 30-year-old woman from Birkenhead who was once happy as a size 14, but became miserable when she shrank to a size 10 after the birth of her three children. He also rallies some celebrity friends to help Shona Collins on her confidence campaign, and turns his attentions on the underwear of the average man. 9.00 The Force (S). 3/3. In September 2007, a lit match was flicked into a petrol can in a block of flats in Portsmouth. A man was killed as the resulting fire ripped through the building. Having struggled for nine months to locate the culprit, the Hampshire Major Crime Unit appoint an experienced Detective Chief Inspector to take over the case. Last in the series. 10.00 Bleach, Nip, Tuck: The White Beauty Myth (S). 1/2. The first of two documentaries examining the lengths to which many people, including pop sensation Michael Jackson, will go to in an effort to westernise their bodies and faces. This edition focuses on the emotional journeys of people desperate to change the shape of their body. 11.05 Derren Brown: Trick Of The Mind (R,S). 5/6. The illusionist visits Edinburgh, where he predicts the movements of a crowd. 11.40 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey (S). 9/10. The women continue to analyse the dinner party, questioning Danielles choice to bring her book to the occasion. 12.40 Late Night Poker. 1.40 Freesports On 4 Freeze (R,S). 2.30 Freesports On 4 Freeze (R,S). 2.55 Freesports On 4 (S). 3.25 Ocean Race (R,S). 10.45 Trisha Goddard (R,S). 11.45 Diet Doctors: Inside And Out (R,S). 12.40 Five News (S). 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer (R,S). Dan and Daniel try to claw back their losses. 1.45 Neighbours (S). An argument between Lyn and Rebecca ends in a fight. 2.15 Home And Away (S). A terrified Ruby spots Grant in the diner. 2.50 I Own Britains Best Home: Flying Visits (R,S). Highlights from the show. 3.05 Reversible Errors (S). Conclusion. Drama, starring William H Macy. 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky (S). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S). 6.00 Home And Away (R,S). Ruby spots Grant and is furious when Xavier decides to introduce himself. 6.25 Live From Studio Five (S). Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh host the magazine show featuring location reports, celebrity interviews and showbiz gossip. 7.30 Monkey Life (R,S). Baby woolly monkey Paulo meets his new family for the first time, while chimpanzee Eddi has fun with his young brother Bart. Pregnant orang-utan Amy gets to grips with a breast pump, and emotions run high when a marmoset arrives at the park. Followed by Five News Update. 8.00 Nature Shock (S). An examination of the media uproar that surrounded the deaths of five elephants near a Bengali village in May 2007. Investigations concluded the creatures were killed by a lightning strike during an electrical storm, but some people remained unconvinced. See Ben Felsenburg Followed by Five News At 9. 9.00 CSI: Miami (S). 18/25. The body of a flight attendant emerges from the luggage carousel at an airport, and the CSIs are called in to determine the circumstances surrounding her death. Horatio and the team soon identify three suspects -- the victims pilot lover, an infatuated stalker and a suspiciously obstructive air marshal. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 CSI: NY (R,S). The wife of a former CSI is found dead in a motel room and the case takes a gruesome twist with the discovery that traces of heroin on her clothes have been extracted from human bodies. Elsewhere, Stella plans to entrap two Greek nationals who are on the hunt for ancient coins. Gary Sinise and Melina Kanakaredes star. Followed by Five News Update. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (R,S). 18/23. Catherine investigates a disaster that killed three elderly women, and the teams efforts to track down a couples murderers are hampered by rain. Marg Helgenberger stars. 12.00 The FBI Files (R,S). The agency tries to bring a gang of extremists to justice. 12.55 SuperCasino. 3.00 US PGA Golf. 3.50 V8 Supercars. 4.40 Boxing Classic (R). 5.10 Neighbours (R,S). 5.35 Home And Away (R,S). NO CRIMINAL CHARGES Book an eye test online at specsavers.co.uk or freephone 0800 0680 241 GLASSES FROM 25 Standard PENTAX single vision lenses with a scratch-resistant treatment. Other lenses and Extra Options available at an additional charge. 2009 Specsavers Optical Group. 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