London Lite Tuesday, 29 September 2009 23 TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service Terminator 2: Judgment Day ITV2, 11.30pm (1991) MY, what a testosterone-fuelled night we have here. Lets start with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Oscar-winning (yes, four!) T2. Arnie wanted to play the hero in this sequel, so hes re-programmed as a good guy while Robert Patrick (above) is the cyborg sent back in time to kill a mother and son before they can lead a 21st-century revolt against the machines. Made BBC1, 12.15am (2001) LADS favourites Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau (above) play two wannabe boxers hired as heavies by shady businessman Peter Falk (excellent) in this well-acted, profanity-packed comedy, confidently written and directed by Favreau himself. Look out for P Diddy and a handful of Sopranos (TV gangsters, not opera singers) in the cast. Cyborg ITV4, 11.10pm (1989) JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME, above, plays Gibson Rickenbacker, a mercenary in a post-apocalyptic world. His is not the only guitar name -- we also meet Fender Tremolo, Furman Vox and Roland Pick. The weather in the future is cold and wet (just thought youd like to know the forecast) but even so, no one ever puts a coat over their muscly arms or heaving bosoms. The Transporter Film4, 9pm (2002) KINDLY resist the temptation to shout at the TV: The Transporter! when Jason Statham, above, asks: What kind of s*** am I in? But at least the Brit actor had the decency to ask that a scene in which he deflects a missile with a tea-tray be deleted because nobody would believe it. As for the rest of the soppy plot, hes a courier to the underworld, on the run from a hit squad. wENdy SayErS BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five 10.30 This Morning (S). With Americas Got Talent judge David Hasselhoff. 12.30 Loose Women (S). 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 London News And Weather (S). 2.00 60 Minute Makeover (S). A home transformation in Little Lever, Greater Manchester. 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show (S). With Bananarama and Jerry Hall. 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Midsomer Murders (R,S). Part two of two. Barnaby and Troy delve into the secrets of the hunt community. 5.00 Britains Best Dish (S). The Scottish heats continue. 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale (S). Cain reads a message on Michaels phone suggesting the wedding is still on. Laurel is irritated by Sallys presence in the village, and Nathan relishes his newfound power over Leyla. 7.30 Grimefighters (S,HD). 10/24. A pest controller battles bedbugs, and two extreme cleaners clear a horrendous flat in which the former tenant kept live fish in his bath. 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? (S). Chris Tarrant invites another line-up of contestants to answer questions that could change their lives -- with lifelines Ask the Audience, Phone a Friend and 50-50 available to them if they get stuck. 9.00 The Fixer (S,HD). 5/6. The team enters the violent underworld of cage-fighting to deal with an elusive criminal and gang leader planning a major heist. Infiltrating the club, Mercer starts training in the ring in the hope of being recruited for the sting, but finds himself drawing on both his brains and his brawn in a bare-knuckle fight to the death. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 News At Ten And Weather (S). 10.30 London News And Weather (S). 10.35 To Catch A Paedophile (S). 2/2. Child protection expert Mark Williams-Thomas follows officers from the Metropolitan Polices Paedophile Unit as they go undercover to catch the predators. 11.35 In Plain Sight (S). 4/15. Mary is forced to put herself in harms way when a witness gets trapped in the rubble of a collapsing building, while Stan and Marshall try to protect the pair until they are freed. 12.30 Premiership Rugby Union (R). Highlights of the latest top-flight fixtures. 1.20 Red Bull Air Race. Round five from Porto; ITV News Headlines. 2.10 Loose Women (R,S). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 3.55 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Morning News (S). 11.00 BBC Primary Geography (S). 11.20 KS2 Science Clips (S). 11.30 Telling Tales (S). 11.35 Telling Tales (S). 11.40 Lets Write A Story (S). 12.00 Daily Politics Conference Special (S). 1.00 Open House (R,S). A Weybridge couple try to sell their home. 1.30 Working Lunch (S). 2.00 Daily Politics Conference Special (S). Coverage of Gordon Browns speech at the Labour Party conference. 4.00 Flog It! (R,S). 4.30 Pointless (S). 5.15 The Hairy Bikers Food Tour Of Britain (S). Si King and Dave Myers investigate regional cuisine in Aberdeenshire. 6.00 Eggheads (S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing -- It Takes Two (S). Claudia Winkleman is joined by this weeks surviving couple and examines the highs and lows of the weekends performances in Choreography Corner. 7.00 Victorian Farm (R,S). 4/6. With the arrival of Spring, Alex Langlands and Peter Ginn need to learn the skills necessary to deliver lambs and piglets. Along with Ruth Goodman, they have other livestock worries when a prized ewe is endangered, and a lame horse could jeopardise vital farm work. With their crops struggling, they turn to Victorian science for a solution. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals (S). The three chefs who earned the right to cook for Michel Roux Jr prepare chicken with a morel velout sauce and Brittany cake. Meanwhile, Gregg Wallace and Monica Galetti look on as four new hopefuls are challenged to demonstrate their culinary skills by filleting a mackerel. 9.00 The Choir: Boys Dont Sing Revisited (S). In 2007, choirmaster Gareth Malone visited Lancaster School, hoping to prove that singing could be an enjoyable hobby for its pupils. One year on, he returns to catch up with former choir members, and discover whether his time there has allowed them to pursue their interest in music. 10.00 Later Live -- With Jools Holland (S,HD). 3/10. Mika introduces his latest album, along with soul mainstay Gladys Knight, singer Shakira, Wakefield band the Cribs, shoegaze-rockers the xx and New York trio the Duke and the King. 10.30 Newsnight (S). Jeremy Paxman presents highlights of the Labour party conference in Brighton. Followed by Weather. 11.20 Today At Conference (S). A look back at footage from todays proceedings in Brighton at the Labour Party conference, including Gordon Browns speech. 11.50 Last Chance To See (R,S). 4/6. Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine search for Komodo dragons in Indonesia, release dozens of turtle hatchlings into the wild, and learn about the trade in ocean creatures. 12.50 BBC News (S). 4.20 Close. 11.00 TV Is Dead? (R,S); Tate Modern. 11.30 Chill Out (R,S); Tate Modern. 12.00 News At Noon (S). 12.30 Proud Parents (R,S). 12.45 A Place In The Sun (S). 1.15 Film: Sance On A Wet Afternoon (S) (1964). A medium kidnaps a girl to win acclaim for her psychic powers when she succeeds in locating her. Thriller, with Kim Stanley and Richard Attenborough. 3.25 Countdown (S). With Dictionary Corner guest John Inverdale. 4.10 Deal Or No Deal (S). 5.00 The Paul OGrady Show (S). With Verne Troyer and Sue Perkins. 6.00 The Simpsons (S). 10/21. A hillbillys tirade about Springfield prompts Mayor Quimby to legalise gay marriage in the town. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). After an argument with Ricky, and a confrontation with Gaz, Anita decides she should stay in the village. 7.00 News (S). 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: This Is Our Youth (S). 2/4. Girls at an east London secondary school explain how they are pushing the boundaries of retro fashion by dressing in Elizabethan costume. 9.00 Jamies American Road Trip (S,HD). 5/6. Having sampled some of Americas most diverse dietary offerings, Jamie Oliver sets out in search of the countrys cheapest culinary treats. In Georgia, he meets family members who have been growing, killing and cooking their own food for generations, and asks them to lend him their expertise at a barbecue contest in Florida. 10.00 The Big Food Fight (S). 4/5. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is challenged to a culinary quiz by Giles Coren, with Sophie Dahl and Clarissa Dickson Wright assisting the pair as they try to outdo each other. 10.35 Derren Brown: Trick Of The Mind (R,S). 1/6. The illusionist travels to Portmeirion in North Wales, where he holds a staring contest with a group of locals. 11.05 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey (S). 5/10. Three of the Jersey girls head for Atlantic City for a weekend of shopping, gambling and spa treatments. 12.05 Coming Up: Parliamo Glasgow (S,HD). Drama, starring Edtya Budnik and James Grant. 12.40 Late Night Poker. 1.35 World Sport (R,S). 2.05 British Formula 3 International Series (R,S). 2.35 The Track And Field Show. 3.00 FIA GT Championship (R,S). 3.30 Ironman UK (R,S). 4.00 Channel 4 Education (S). 10.45 Trisha Goddard (R,S). 11.45 I Own Britains Best Home 2009 (R,S). 12.40 Five News (S). 12.50 Up Close And Dangerous (R,S). 1.45 Neighbours (S). Elle tries to protect Lucass business. 2.15 Home And Away (S). Rachel and Tony continue to search for baby Harry. 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad (R,S). Highlights of the series. 3.10 Film: Serving In Silence: The Margarethe Cammermeyer Story (S) (1995). Fact-based drama, starring Glenn Close. 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky (S). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S). 6.00 Home And Away (R,S). Nicole gets the wrong impression when she sees Aden and Indigo together. 6.30 Live From Studio Five (S). Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh host the magazine show featuring location reports, celebrity interviews and showbiz gossip. 7.30 Monkey Life (R,S). Resident capuchin TJ causes mischief when he joins the new Chilean arrivals, and alpha male Paddy has to step in. Orang-utan Amy is pregnant but the keepers worry she will not be able to care for a baby, and chimps from Hananyas group get their teeth cleaned. Followed by Five News Update. 8.00 Warship (S). The assault squadron marines launch a training operation in Brunei, and American forces join their British counterparts in a team-building exercise. Followed by Five News At 9. 9.00 CSI: Miami (S). 14/25. The CSIs find the body of a surgeon in the attic of an abandoned house, and Calleigh (Emily Procter) falls into a coma after she is shot at by a panicked drug dealer who had been operating from the premises. With one of the team out of action, Alexx Woods returns to help with the investigation. With guest star Khandi Alexander. 10.00 CSI: NY (R,S). The murder of a Ukrainian man who was searching for his missing daughter leads the detectives to uncover a sex-trafficking ring involving teenagers. Flack tries to persuade a reluctant club owner to take part in a sting operation, and Detective Gillian Whitford reveals a personal connection to the case. Followed by Five News Update. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (R,S). 14/23. Grissom and Catherine investigate the discovery of a sawn-up human skeleton scattered across the desert, while Sara and Warrick explore the death of a male stripper. 12.00 The FBI Files (R,S). 12.50 US Tour Golf. 1.45 Triathlon. Highlights of ITU World Championship Series events. 2.35 NHRA Drag Racing. 4.20 European Challenge Tour Golf. 5.10 Neighbours (R,S). 5.35 Home And Away (R,S). 8.00 How To Look Good Naked (S). 1/10. New series. Gok Wan returns to inspire the nations women to embrace their natural assets. See Ben Felsenburg GOOD NAKED GLASSES FROM125 Cannot be used with other offers. Second pair from the same range as the first pair or below and to the same prescription. 1.5 scratch-resistant varifocal, bifocal in your first pair. Extra Options available at an additional charge on both pairs. Ends 5 December 2009. 2009 Specsavers Optical Group. All rights reserved. or freephone 0800 0680 241 index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html24.html25.html26.html27.html28.html29.html30.html31.html32.html33.html34.html35.html36.html37.html38.html39.html40.html41.html42.html43.html