London Lite Friday, 25 September 2009 29 TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service Jarhead ITV4, 10.30pm (2005) JAKE GYLLENHAAL, above, is the US Marine sniper (known as Jarheads because of their crewcuts) who is shocked to find a soldiers life ahead of Desert Storm is one of tedium with dashes of brutality. The top-class cast is also headed by Jamie Foxx and Peter Sarsgaard. Did director Sam Mendes select his actors by the double letters in their names? Alien Autopsy BBC1, 11.40pm (2006) THE truth is out there... while there are laughs to be had here, those Britains Got Talent moppets Ant and Dec, above, need a stronger script than this comedy about pals who duped the world into believing they had home movie footage of a captured alien. A dull romance makes it not as funny as it could be, Im afraid. The Pelican Brief ITV1, 10.35pm (1993) ALAN J PAKULA is the master of the conspiracy thriller and, while entertaining enough, this falls way short of his All The Presidents Men. Julia Roberts is a law student caught up in the murders of two judges. Denzel Washington, above with Roberts, is the reporter who guides her -- and us -- as he helpfully keeps explaining the plot by scribbling in his notebook. The Terror BBC2, 2.05am (1963) SO, YOUVE Boris Karloff and Jack Nicholson (above, with Sandra Knight) kicking their heels after finishing your film The Raven four days early. Do you send em home? Not if youre budget king Roger Corman. You just knock out another film, about a spooky castle, with the same sets and actors. The second-unit director was Francis Ford Coppola. Whatever happened to him? wENdy SayErS BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S). With Ant and Dec and James Michael Tyler. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 London News And Weather (S). 2.00 60 Minute Makeover (S). Ann Hazell spruces up a house in Leavesden, Hertfordshire. 3.00 Dickinsons Real Deal (S). David Dickinson visits Wells in Somerset. 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme (R,S). The detectives investigate a death at a theatre. Last in the series. 5.00 Britains Best Dish (S). The final of the North East regional heats. Mark Nicholas presents. 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale (S). Leyla steals money from the Home Farm shop to buy a pair of shoes, and Debbie is overjoyed when Michael announces he has broken off his engagement. 7.30 Coronation Street (S). Chesney blames Fiz when Kirk moves out, and not even a visit to John can improve her mood, while Rosie resolves to do whatever it takes to win back Luke. See Soap Box 8.00 A Dangerous Game? Tonight (S). Linda Duberley catches up with video game fanatics she first met three years ago to discover how the habit has shaped their lives. 8.30 Coronation Street (S). Rosie fights to keep Michelle away from Luke, attacking her during Jason and Tinas house party. Chesney reveals the depth of his hatred of John, while Daryl and Amber kiss. See Soap Box 9.00 Rebus (S). 2/4. The detective angers his superiors when he tries to connect a member of Edinburghs criminal fraternity to the shooting of two boys and a teacher at a local college. One of the victims turns out to be the son of Rebuss cousin, giving Templar the perfect reason to take him off the case. Ken Stott and Jennifer Black star. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather (S). 10.30 London News And Weather (S). 10.35 The Pelican Brief (S) (1993). A law student submits a brief about an assassination conspiracy, placing her life in danger. Thriller, starring Julia Roberts, Denzel Washington and Sam Shepard. See Film Choice 1.10 Film: The Rat Pack (S) (1998). Fact-based drama exploring the alleged underworld and political connections of entertainers Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop, whose profitable association and close friendships were often marred by violent disagreements. Ray Liotta, Joe Mantegna, Don Cheadle, Angus MacFadyen and Deborah Kara Unger star. 3.10 ITV Nightscreen. Guide to forthcoming programmes. 5.30 ITV Morning News (S). 10.35 In The Night Garden (R,S). 11.10 The Flintstones (R,S). 11.35 The Flintstones (R,S). 12.00 Daily Politics (S). 12.30 Working Lunch (S). 1.00 Cycling (S). The UCI Road World Championships. 2.00 Living In The Sun (R,S). A couple running a watersports business in Spain. 3.00 Monk (R,S). A murderer hires Monk to be his new butler. 3.45 Flog It! (R,S). From Leicester. 4.30 Pointless (S). Quiz show, hosted by Alexander Armstrong. 5.15 The Hairy Bikers Food Tour Of Britain (S). Si King and Dave Myers visit Tarbet in Argyll and Bute. 6.00 Eggheads (S). Quiz, in which the winners of game shows work as a team to tackle new challengers. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing -- It Takes Two (S). Presenter Claudia Winkleman previews the weekends competition as she leads a camera crew into the rehearsal area. 7.00 Victorian Farm (R,S). 3/6. The team receives help from a woodsman, blacksmith and basket-maker when the farm needs emergency repairs. Ruth Goodman tests traditional potions and remedies, while Alex Langlands and Peter Ginn employ Victorian-style pest control to protect the wheat crop from pheasants. 8.00 Mastermind (S). 5/31. John Humphrys quizzes contestants on the Life and Films of Groucho Marx, the Novels of Dorothy Whipple, the Battle of Britain, and the Life and Work of Thomas Arnold. 8.30 Gardeners World (S). 19/23. Toby Buckland spruces up the prairie borders at Greenacre using inspiration from a visit to Trentham Gardens in Staffordshire. 9.00 The Tudors (S). 8/8. An annulment marks the end of Henrys marriage to Anne of Cleves, and the failure of the relationship hastens Cromwells downfall. Princess Mary falls for Duke Philip of Bavaria, and with the king a bachelor once again, he sets his roving eye on the teenage beauty Katherine Howard. Jonathan Rhys Meyers stars. Last in the series. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 QI (R,S). 8/12. Comedians Jimmy Carr and Jo Brand and journalist John Sergeant join regular panellist Alan Davies to answer questions on the topics of flora and fauna. In this quiz with a difference, points are awarded not for the correct answers, but for those host Stephen Fry finds most interesting. 10.30 Newsnight (S). 11.00 Newsnight Review (S). Tim Marlow presents a round-table discussion of the weeks cultural highlights. Followed by Weather. 11.35 Later With Jools Holland (S). 2/10. The host welcomes Dizzee Rascal, Editors, Gang of Four, Beverley Knight and Charlie Watts. 12.40 Medium (R,S). The SOS killer escapes from prison. 1.20 Medium (R,S). 2.05 Film: The Terror (S) (1963). Horror. See Film Choice 3.25 Close. 11.00 Day I Got The Sack (R,S); Before And After. 11.30 Teen Taboos (R,S); Before And After. 12.00 News At Noon (S). 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Bright Young Britdoc (R,S). 12.35 Property Snakes And Ladders (R,S). Sarah Beeny advises developers in Bristol and Kent. 1.40 Film: River Of No Return (HD) (1954). Western, starring Robert Mitchum. 3.25 Countdown (S). With Colin Murray. 4.10 Deal Or No Deal (S). Game show, with Noel Edmonds. 5.00 The Paul OGrady Show (S). With teenage Scottish stand-up Daniel Sloss. 6.00 The Simpsons (S). 8/21. Homer produces the Super Bowl half-time show. Skater Michelle Kwan guests. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Archie is held hostage by Ged for a second time, after confessing the kidnapping was a set-up, and Hayley and Josh discover a goodbye letter from India. 7.00 News (S). 7.35 Unreported World (S). 1/10. New series. Evan Williams reports on Russias military campaign in the independent Republic of Ingushetia amid allegations of increasingly extreme violence by security forces. Going deep into the region, he and his team face questioning by police, immigration authorities and the Russian secret service. 8.00 Jamie At Home (R,S). 4/18. Jamie Oliver cooks three different dishes to show the versatility of beans, including a runner bean stew and a marinated French bean salad. 8.30 The Big Food Fight (R,S). 3/5. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is challenged to a culinary quiz by Heston Blumenthal, with Patsy Kensit Healy and Ben Miller assisting the chefs as they try to outdo each other. 9.00 Derren Brown: How To Be A Psychic Spy (S). 3/4. In the third of the illusionists televised events, he tries to psychically project an image to TV viewers, asking for their suggestions about the picture, before revealing the image and assessing what the stunt says about his abilities and the audiences susceptibility to suggestion. 10.00 Peep Show (S,HD). 2/6. Sophie reveals which of the friends is the father of her child. Comedy, starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb. See Ben Felsenburg 10.35 The IT Crowd (R,S). 2/6. Moss discovers an internet site that analyses peoples personal details and calculates when they will die, but when he tries it out on Roy they both get a nasty surprise. 11.10 The Inbetweeners (R,S). 5/6. The lads visit a Caravan Club meeting under the impression that it is really a massive orgy. 11.45 Derren Brown: How To Be A Psychic Spy (R,S). 3/4. The illusionist attempts to psychically project an image to viewers. 12.45 My Wall Street (R,S). 1.50 Film: Sommersby (S) (1993). 3.45 Beach Volleyball (S). 4.40 Freesports On 4 (R,S). 5.05 Post Modern Pastimes (R,S). 5.15 Countdown (R,S). 10.45 Trisha Goddard (R,S). 11.45 20 Things We Love To Hate About Builders (R,S). Complaints about domestic workmen. 12.40 Five News (S). 12.50 Nigel Marvens Ugly Animals (R,S). 1.45 Neighbours (S). The Parkers leave Ramsay Street. 2.15 Home And Away (S). Baby Harry goes missing. 2.50 I Own Britains Best Home: Flying Visits (R,S). Highlights from the property show. 3.05 The Family Recipe (R,S). 3.15 Film: Loves Long Journey (S) (2005). Western, starring Erin Cottrell. 5.00 Five News (S). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S). 6.00 Home And Away (R,S). Hugo has worked out who is running the illegal abalone trade. 6.30 Live From Studio Five (S). Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh host the magazine show featuring location reports, celebrity interviews and showbiz gossip. 7.30 Police Interceptors: Special Edition (R,S). Natalie Pinkham uncovers high-speed takedown techniques and sophisticated tracking devices, examining the case of a fleeing driver racing through Southend and revealing how an underage driver was brought to an abrupt halt. Followed by Five News Update. 8.00 Brighton Beach Patrol (S). The annual Gay Pride festival begins, but bad weather threatens to put a damper on proceedings. As the festivities get into full swing, Speedo Joe and his fellow lifeguards take part in the parade, and RNLI volunteers later launch their boats to search for a missing raver. Followed by Five News At 9. 9.00 NCIS (R,S). 19/24. The unit receives a tip-off about terrorist activity, but two agents are murdered during the ensuing investigation. Believing the information to be a set-up, the team tries to solve the case with assistance from Paula Cassidy, who holds herself responsible for the tragedy. Jessica Steen stars. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent (S). 20/22. The widow of a 90-year-old billionaire learns her son has dropped dead on a dance floor, which detectives learn was the result of a cold remedy being laced with methadone. When the victims mother dies only days later, suspicion turns to her new husband and agent. Kristy Swanson stars. See Ben Felsenburg 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent (S). 21/22. Goren and Eames discover a scrapbook belonging to a serial killer on death row, and it indicates he had more victims than they previously knew. Roy Scheider guest stars. See Ben Felsenburg 12.00 SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming, featuring roulette and blackjack. 3.55 The FBI Files (R,S). The work of the Bureaus crime laboratory. 4.45 HouseBusters (R,S). 5.10 Neighbours (R,S). 5.35 Home And Away (R,S). index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html24.html25.html26.html27.html28.html29.html30.html31.html32.html33.html34.html35.html36.html37.html38.html39.html40.html41.html42.html43.html44.html45.html46.html47.html