London Lite Tuesday, 22 September 2009 23 TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service Brazil BBC1, 12.05am (1985) BE CAREFUL what you wish for... Jonathan Pryce, above with Kim Greist, is a civil servant who dreams of a less dreary life -- only to be plunged into a nightmarish world of terrorism. Terry Gilliam runs riot directing this dystopian satire, which has Robert De Niro in the supporting cast. Imaginative, original... and misunderstood by Hollywood at the time of its release. Falling Down ITV4, 11.10pm (1993) TALKING of De Niro (see Brazil) this is Taxi Driver with a dash of Victor Meldrew humour. Michael Douglas, above, is the average Joe who finally succumbs to the pressures of the modern world. He wants to get home, but obstacles keep being put in his path -- much like the Circle line on a Friday night -- and the frustration sends him on a violent rampage. Le Divorce Film4, 6.45pm (2003) A MERCHANT-IVORY film, but not a corset in sight. Set in modern-day Paris, it stars Kate Hudson, above, as an American girl who arrives in the city just as her pregnant stepsister (Naomi Watts) is deserted by her husband. Luckily she has the magnificent Glenn Close to point out the culture clashes when it comes to French and American attitudes to life and love. The Island ITV2, 10pm (2005) AS YOU would expect from director Michael Bay, theres explosive action in this futuristic thriller -- and plot holes the size of craters. Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson, above, play clones created by the wealthy who are forced to go on the run when they discover what is awaiting them on the Island. Im guessing it wont be a set of eight records and the works of Shakespeare... WENDY SAYERS BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S). 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 London News And Weather (S). 2.00 60 Minute Makeover (S). A home transformation in Uttoxeter, Staffordshire. 3.00 Dickinsons Real Deal (S). From Peterborough. 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Rosemary And Thyme (R,S). 5.00 Britains Best Dish (S). Ed Baines, Jilly Goolden and John Burton Race judge more dishes from the North East, including haddock bread-and- butter pudding and a cinnamon and chocolate beef dish. 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale (S). An angry outburst from Paddy leaves Aarons self-esteem bruised. 7.30 Grimefighters (S,HD). 9/24. A rotting rat is found during a house clearance, an enforcement officer targets careless smokers and Westminster tube station is cleaned during a nightshift. 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? (S). Chris Tarrant invites another line-up of contestants to answer questions that could change their lives -- with lifelines Ask the Audience, Phone a Friend and 50-50 available to them if they get stuck. 9.00 The Fixer (S,HD). 4/6. When a suspected serial killer and rapist resurfaces, Rose revisits the case that caused her to be thrown out of the police force, and becomes embroiled in a dangerous sexual game. Meanwhile, a distracted Mercer places the team in debt to Symmonds. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 News At Ten And Weather (S). 10.30 London News And Weather (S). 10.35 To Catch A Paedophile (S). 1/2. Child protection expert Mark Williams-Thomas follows officers from the Metropolitan Polices Paedophile Unit as they go undercover to catch the predators. Part two can be seen next Tuesday. 11.35 In Plain Sight (S). 3/15. A mother of three in the witness protection programme struggles to manage her brood of children. Cynthia Watros guest stars. 12.30 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Mystery (R,S). Reopening the files on Britains most notorious crimes. 1.20 Premiership Rugby Union (R); ITV News Headlines. 2.15 Loose Women (R). 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). Guests air their differences. 3.55 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Morning News (S). 10.35 In The Night Garden (R,S). 11.10 The Flintstones (R,S). 11.35 The Flintstones (R,S). 12.00 Daily Politics Conference Special (S). 1.00 Animal Park (R,S). A rare deer gets its antlers caught. 1.30 Working Lunch (S). Business news, with Naga Munchetty and Declan Curry. 2.00 Living In The Sun (R,S). An expat strives to make his business fortune. 3.00 Monk (R,S). A leper hires Monk. 3.45 Flog It! (R,S). 4.30 Pointless (S). Quiz show, hosted by Alexander Armstrong. 5.15 The Hairy Bikers Food Tour Of Britain (S). 6.00 Eggheads (S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing -- It Takes Two (S). Claudia Winkleman is joined by the first couple to avoid elimination, and discusses how the celebrities are progressing as they prepare for the live shows. 7.00 Victorian Farm (R,S). 1/6. Documentary series following historian Ruth Goodman and archaeologists Alex Langlands and Peter Ginn as they sample the life of a Victorian farmer for a year. 8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals (S). 7/29. The three chefs who earned the right to cook for Michel Roux Jr in the previous show are challenged to prepare coq au vin and plum clafoutis. Meanwhile, Gregg Wallace and Monica Galetti look on as four new hopefuls demonstrate their culinary skills by jointing a chicken, before making goujons for a palate test. 9.00 The Choir: Unsung Town (S). 4/4. Gareth Malone plans a grand venture to draw his Hertfordshire challenge to a close -- a free choral festival at South Oxhey playing fields. With the help of residents, the proposed event begins to take shape, and the choirmaster brings his various singing groups together to form a choir of unprecedented size. Last in the series. 10.00 Later Live -- With Jools Holland (S,HD). 2/10. Rapper Dizzee Rascal joins the host, along with indie quartet Editors, post-punk band Gang of Four, RnB artist Beverley Knight and Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts. 10.30 Newsnight (S). Followed by Weather. 11.20 Today At Conference (S). Andrew Neil provides hightlights from the days events at the Liberal Democrat party conference in Bournemouth. 11.50 Last Chance To See (R,S). 3/6. Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine search for the aye-aye lemur in Madagascar, a rare species of lemur that is considered to be a bad omen by many of the islands inhabitants. 12.50 BBC News (S). 4.40 Close. T11.00 Day I Got The Sack (R,S); Before And After. 11.30 Teen Taboos (R,S); Before And After. 12.00 News At Noon (S). 12.30 Whats In A Word? (R,S). 12.50 Its Me Or The Dog. 1.20 Film: Local Hero (S) (1983). An oil company representative becomes enchanted by a Scottish village he has been sent to buy. Comedy, starring Peter Riegert and Burt Lancaster. 3.25 Countdown (S). With Colin Murray. 4.10 Deal Or No Deal (S). Game show, with Noel Edmonds. 5.00 The Paul OGrady Show (S). With Michael Palin and JLS. 6.00 The Simpsons (S). 5/21. Bart creates a range of novelty T-shirts. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). A detective visits Eliots flat and accuses him and Zak of dealing drugs, and Hayleys attempts to lighten Indias mood end in disaster. 7.00 News (S). 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Haikus Of The Heart (S). A look at witty submissions to an intellectual lonely hearts column. 8.00 River Cottage: Gone Fishing (R,S). 3/3. Hugh Fearnley- Whittingstall teams up with the West Countrys most progressive fishermen to investigate commercial developments in sustainable fishing. Last in the series. 9.00 Jamies American Road Trip (S,HD). 4/6. Just weeks after Hurricane Gustav wreaked havoc on Louisiana, Jamie Oliver visits the state, hoping to sample the food that fortifies the regions residents against the destructive forces of nature. In New Orleans he calls in at a Creole restaurant run by a self- styled gumbo queen, and learns the art of alligator hunting. 10.00 The Big Food Fight (S). 3/5. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is challenged to a culinary quiz by Heston Blumenthal, with Patsy Kensit Healy and Ben Miller assisting the chefs as they try to outdo each other. Sue Perkins hosts. 10.35 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey (S). 4/10. Jacqueline and the other housewives discuss Danielles allegedly shady past. 11.35 Coming Up: Raising Baby Rio (S,HD). 5/7. Bleak drama, starring Nathanial Martello White. 12.05 Late Night Poker. Action from the latest round of the Full Tilt series. 1.05 FIA GT3 Championship (R,S). 1.35 World Sport (R,S). 2.00 British Formula 3 International Series (R,S). 2.25 The Track And Field Show (R,S). 2.55 Rat Race Urban Adventure (R,S). 3.20 Brain Cell: Energy Challenge (R,S). 3.45 Grudge Match (R). A father and son battle it out. 4.00 Channel 4 Education (S). 10.45 Trisha Goddard (R,S). 11.45 Build A New Life In The Country (R,S). 12.40 Five News (S). 12.50 Weird Creatures With Nick Baker (R,S). 1.45 Neighbours (S). 2.15 Home And Away (S). Aden struggles with his emotions at Belles funeral. 2.50 I Own Britains Best Home: Flying Visits (R,S). Highlights from the property show. 3.00 The Family Recipe (R,S). 3.10 Film: More Than Meets The Eye: The Joan Brock Story (S) (2003). Drama, starring Carey Lowell. 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky (S). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S). 6.00 Home And Away (R,S). Irene gives an eulogy at Belles funeral, and Aden struggles with his emotions. Liam interrupts the service while high on drugs, leading to a confrontation with Geoff. 6.30 Live From Studio Five (S). Topical reports. 7.30 Monkey Life (R,S). Alpha male Hananya shows his dislike for needles, while the other chimps have a banana-fishing expedition. Alison and Jeremy Keeling rehouse two capuchin monkeys in Hertfordshire. Followed by Five News Update. 8.00 Big, Bigger, Biggest (S). The architectural and engineering breakthroughs that made possible the construction of the worlds largest free-standing dome, the Kyushu Oil Dome in Oita, Japan. See Ben Felsenburg Followed by Five News At 9. 9.00 CSI: Miami (S). 13/25. The team suspects a former jockey and a jealous investor of murdering of a racehorse owner. However, when a clandestine race-fixing ring is unveiled, Horatios chain of evidence again leads to elusive Russian mobster Ivan Sarnoff. Meanwhile, Delko grows increasingly attracted to Calleigh -- but learns she might have another admirer. 10.00 CSI: NY (R,S). 13/25 The body parts of a murdered high-school coach are found scattered around the city, and Hawkes discovers he may have been responsible for e- mailing sexually explicit pictures of under-aged boys. Meanwhile, Flack (Eddie Cahill) is accused of using excessive force to subdue a suspect who died in his custody. Followed by Five News Update. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (R,S). 13/23. Grissom tries to identify a bomber. 12.00 The FBI Files (R,S). The bureau investigates two brutal murders that took place in 1999 in two small towns located hundreds of miles apart. 12.50 European Challenge Tour Golf. 1.40 European Seniors Tour Golf. 2.30 Indy Car Series. 3.20 Great Yorkshire And Capital Runs (R). 4.30 Cricket On Five (R). 5.10 Neighbours (R,S). 5.35 Home And Away (R,S). TLY GLASSES GLASSES FROM125 Cannot be used with other offers. Second pair from the same range as the first pair or below and to the same prescription. 1.5 scratch-resistant varifocal, bifocal in your first pair. Extra Options available at an additional charge on both pairs. Ends 5 December 2009. 2009 Specsavers Optical Group. 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