London Lite Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17 IN&OUTTONIGHT IN&OUTTONIGHT PREVIEWS Maneater?Not on your NellyNelly Furtado The album Mi Plan is out now. 11PAGE ENTERTAINMENT SECTION CompiledbyLaurenPaxman COMEDYTHEATRECLUBSMUSIC CompiledbyLaurenPaxman Coming SoonTomorrowToday Londons biggest and best newspaper guide to staying in...or going out Coming SoonTomorrowToday Coming SoonTomorrowToday Coming SoonTomorrowToday THE laugh is so deafening I fear for my hearing. Its terrible isnt it? says Nelly Furtado, letting out another eardrum-rattler. And its getting worse. The older I get the more of a cackle it is. I sound like a witch. She sure doesnt look like one. Now 30, the singer who rocketed to the top of the charts with Maneater and Promiscuous is hotter than ever. The video for the first single from her new Spanish-language album sees her strip- ping out of combat gear to show a figure that could stop wars, let alone traffic. Personal trainer, she explains, then adds that away from the cameras she slobs around the house in joggers and a jumper. I can be sexy when I need to be, but Im not like that all the time. Nor, these days, is she a man-eater or in any way promiscuous. Last year she got hitched to Cuban soundman Demacio Castellon. Being settled down really suits me, she coos down the phone from the Toronto home she shares with Castellon and Nevis, her five-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. Shes a homemaker, doing her own laundry, ironing and cooking. I firmly believe that if you write songs you have to live in the real world. You have to do normal stuff. You have to be wearing your track pants and making chicken noodle soup. Having shifted 15 million records means Furtado need never work again. But Id be so bored. I love making music but then I love my family too, and its all about balancing the two. When I started out I was in my early twenties and I was so committed to my career I worked 24 hours a day. I was so young and I thought you had to make an album, open for U2 and win loads of Grammy awards, but Im more relaxed now. She does indeed have a Grammy for her 2000 debut album Whoa, Nelly! and a Brit award. Now what she wants is more kids. Id love a big family, she says. I dont know if Id ever reach the Angelina and Brad numbers but Ill die trying. SIMON BUTTON We Have BaNd THIS unsigned band, right, have sold out the ICA. They cite Georgian red wine as their only influence and play synthy electro-pop. ICA, The Mall SW1 (020 7930 3647), returns only. Tube: Charing Cross ray laMoNtagNe THE American singer, right, who quit his job in a shoe factory for music after hearing Stephen Stills, will be at the Albert Hall for two nights. And Thu, Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore SW7 (020 7589 8212), 7.30pm, 17.50-41. Tube: South Kensington JoNas BrotHers EXPECT a frenzy of teenage excitement at these November gigs by the Jonas Brothers, right. 20-21 Nov, Wembley Arena, Empire Way (0870 060 0870, wembley), 7.30pm, 32-40. Tube: Wembley Park BrigHt NigHt ROBIN INCE, left, heads this thinking persons variety night that brings together experts from the arts, sciences and humanities. Tonight features a novelist, a civil engineer and an archaeologist. Wilmington Arms, 69 Rosebery Avenue EC1 (020 7837 1384), 8pm, 5, 3 concs. Tube: Farringdon oNe Big laugH MARK THOMAS, Robert Newman, Simon Amstell, left, and surprise guests give their funny bones a workout in aid of the Mental Health Foundation. Bloomsbury Theatre, 15 Gordon St WC1 (020 7388 8822, thebloomsbury. com), 7.30pm, returns only. Tube: Euston laugHter louNge LEE NELSON, left, Carl Donnelly, Isy Suttie and MC Yianni are a perfect accompaniment to a top-notch glass of vino at this monthly night. 25 Sep, Vinopolis, 1 Bank End SE1 (020 7940 8300,, 6.30pm, 15, 12 adv. Tube: London Bridge stockWell GRIPPING drama created from transcripts of the inquest into the shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes at Stockwell Tube station. Helen Worsley, right, plays top cop Cressida Dick. Until Sun, Tricycle Theatre, 269 Kilburn High Rd NW6 (020 7328 1000), Tue-Thu & Sun 8pm, mat Sat 4pm, 12, 10 concs. Tube: Kilburn iNFiNite variety A NIGHT of burlesque frolics and trapeze, right, featuring Polly Cupcake, La John Joseph and Gemma Whelan. Until 1 Nov, New Players Theatre, Villiers St WC2 (020 7478 0135), Tue- Sat 7.45pm, 12-25. Tube: Charing Cross tHe PoWer oF yes DAVID HARES latest drama, right, looks at how capitalisms credit crunch bail-out was for the rich alone. 29 Sep-10 Jan, National Theatre, South Bank SE1 (020 7452 3000,, in rep, times vary, 10- 35. Tube: Waterloo rival scHools CHRIS, left, and Si of Heroes Of Annihilated Empires dominate the decks with their mix of old school hip hop and the latest synthy bleeps. Mother Bar, 333 Old St EC1 (020 7739 5949), 8pm, free. Tube: Old St sHut your Pretty MoutH SOHODOLLS, left, host their dirty electro party with guest DJ sets from White Rose Movement and Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster. Punk, 14 Soho St W1 (020 7734 4004, myspace. com/sypm), 11pm, 5. Tube: Tottenham Court Rd WHite WeddiNg DJ OTIS WEDDING and Tim Westwood, left, play wedding dances and floor fillers as Scala turns into a marquee complete with bridesmaids, bouquets, big hats, randy uncles and a seven-tiered cake. 26 Sep, Scala, 275-277 Pentonville Rd N1 (0870 060 0100,, 9pm, 10. 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