BRITNEY SPEARS has launched a bid to become President of the United States -- but Barack Obama has nothing to worry about. The singer set out her policies on American TV last night and vowed if she got to the White House, she would give everyone free pie and hire P Diddy as her vice-president. It wasnt a genuine attempt to succeed where Sarah Palin failed -- Britney was appearing on The Late Show With David Letterman in the shows nightly Top Ten segment. The sketch involves humorous topics read by Letterman, which he occasionally hands over to a celebrity guest. Last night it was Britneys turn, and she jokingly announced: Ways The Country Would Be Different If Britney Spears Were President. Having shown off her tour-toned body by the pool during the past week, she was clearly keen to keep up the momentum as she perched on a desk in a skimpy black bikini and announced what she would do if she was in charge. And while she received a round of applause for suggesting that America might have a more coherent fiscal strategy, her other policies proved more laughter- inducing than vote-winning. She promised to be the first president to wear eye shadow since Nixon, and declared that the US would only invade fun places like Cabo. Her situation room would be a cabana at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas and her press conferences would include costume changes. She would lure Osama Bin Laden out of hiding with her new perfume Circus Fantasy and challenge the country to have a nightclub on the moon within 10 years. But after the simple statement: Three words -- vice president Diddy, with her tongue firmly in her cheek, s h e t h e n announced that being President would mean finally the media would pay some attention to me. London Lite Wednesday, 19 August 2009 STARS AND STRIPS AS SINGER OUTLINES HER MANIFESTO Hard-upwomenabandonskincreamsforgoodvalueBotox WOMEN are ditching their favourite but expensive skincare products for longer-lasting cosmetic treatment. Sales of products such as La Prairie, Lancome and Este Lauder have declined in the past few months, as consumers turn to Botox injections and laser hair removal to save money long-term. Analysts Mintel said consumers were also turning to Botox not to waste time each day applying make-up. Alexandra Richmond from Mintel said about 20,000 outlets across the UK now offer the cosmetic treatment and added: You can have Botox at the dentist now. It is much more widely available. And she said older women were the most frequent customers. She added: We know that older women tend to be more cynical of claims made by beauty products. With Botox, they know its going to work so they go for the guaranteed results. Inbrief Freddies the tache champion FREDDIE MERcuRy is Britains favourite moustache wearer, according to a charity poll. The late Queen frontman beat comedian John cleese and Lord Kitchener, of the First World War your country Needs you poster. The poll, which also featured charlie chaplin and ex-footballer David Seaman, was held for cancer charity Tacheback. DNA swap fools crime scientists ScIENTISTS have been able to fake DNA evidence raising fears that crime scene clues can be easily tampered with. Researchers in Israel managed to obliterate all traces of DNA from a blood sample and replace it with someone elses genetic material. They even fooled scientists who carry out DNA fingerprinting for uS courts. Forget Palin, is Britney aiming to be President?by georgina littlejohn Spoof: Britney Spears delivering her election promises and, right, in her bikini on the show Host: Letterman Firefighters plan strikenextweek FIREFIGHTERS in London and Essex are planning their biggest round of industrial action since the national strikes of 2002. Walkouts could start next week, along with up to 8,000 colleagues nationwide, over jobs, disciplinary action and an overtime ban. The Fire Brigades union claims the Essex authority wants to cut its frontline crew from 954 members to 905 by March. Perfect10ison Hestons menu HESTON BLuMENTHALS Fat Duck restaurant is rated a perfect 10 in the new edition of the Good Food Guide 2010. Described as the most extraordinary restaurant in Britain, it marks a remarkable comeback for the chef, after the Bray, Berks establishment was closed in February following a food scare. Gordon Ramsays chelsea establishment scored nine out of 10.