TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service STEPHEN MARR BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five London Lite Wednesday, 12 August 2009 17 About A Boy ITV2, 8pm (2002) HugH gRant, above, stars in the film adaptation of nick Hornbys bestselling novel about an irresponsible thirtysomething Londoner who is taught to grow up by a 12-year-old boy. For a pleasant change, grant doesnt play a foppish, floppy-haired guy who stammers a lot. also stars nicholas Hoult, toni Collette and Rachel Weisz. My Best Friends Wedding E4, 9pm (1997) JuLIannE (Julia Roberts) has just learned that her friend Michael is about to get married. She should be happy for him but she isnt -- because she loves him and wants him for herself, and now only has three days to get him. the trouble is that Michaels beloved, Kimberly (Cameron Diaz, above with Roberts) is almost too perfect. also stars Dermot Mulroney. 8 Mile ITV2, 11.50pm (2002) EMInEM proves hes a credible actor -- not that his character is eight miles away from his real life. Jimmy Smith is a talented rapper who is looking to lift himself out of poverty through music. Hes in a dead-end job, and the only ray of hope is when he meets and falls in love with alex -- Brittany Murphy, above with Eminem. also stars Kim Basinger. The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen Film4, 9pm (2003) SEan COnnERY, above, leads a band of historical heroes and anti-heroes on a quest to face and defeat the ultimate menace. Connery is the swashbuckling allan Quatermain, who teams up with the Invisible Man, Captain nemo, Dorian gray, tom Sawyer, Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde and the vampire Mina Harker. 10.30 no Place Like Home? (S). a family considers leaving the Cayman Islands. 11.25 ItV news Headlines (S). 11.30 60 Minute Makeover (R,S). a house is transformed in Pontardawe, Wales. 12.30 For the Rest Of Your Life (S). 1.30 ItV Lunchtime news (S). 1.55 London news and Weather (S). 2.00 Dickinsons Real Deal (R,S). From Wolverhampton. 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge (S). Stephen K amos is the guest judge. 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Heartbeat (R,S). Bellamy lands himself in trouble. 5.00 golden Balls (S). With Jasper Carrott. 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale (S). natasha worries Ryan will turn down the job in Dubai, while a guilty Jake collects his winnings. See Soap Box 7.30 Live International Football (S). Holland v England (Kick-off 7.45pm). Matt Smith is joined by andy townsend to introduce coverage of this evenings friendly clash at the amsterdam arena, as Fabio Capellos men get their season under way. the Dutch became the first European side to qualify for the World Cup finals when they beat norway in June, taking their unassailable points total to 21. England are the only other team with seven wins from as many games during qualification; they are still to guarantee their place in South africa, but could do so at home to Croatia in September. the countries met on this ground in 2006, when a Rafael van der Vaart goal four minutes from time cancelled out Wayne Rooneys opener and earned the Dutch a 1-1 draw. Commentary by Clive tyldesley. See Ben Felsenburg 10.10 The Late News And Weather (S). 10.40 London News And Weather (S). 10.45 International Football (S). Holland v England. Matt Smith presents highlights of the friendly clash at the amsterdam arena, as Fabio Capellos men got their season under way. Commentary by Clive tyldesley and Jim Beglin. 11.45 Total Emergency (R,S). 6/6. Sheffields emergency services race to a car crash, where a youth has been thrown from a moving vehicle, and firefighters tackle a blazing house. Last in the series. 12.40 nightwatch With Steve Scott: Mystery (R,S). Reopening the files on notorious crimes. 1.30 nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime (R,S). Documentary; ItV news Headlines. 2.25 the Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 3.20 ItV nightscreen. 5.30 ItV Morning news (S). Jasper Carrott 5pm, Golden Balls 11.00 the Flintstones (R,S). 11.25 Film: Max Keebles Big Move (S) (2001). Comedy, starring alex D Linz. 12.45 Castle In the Country (R,S). 1.15 Open gardens (R,S). 1.45 Sun, Sea and Bargain Spotting (R,S). 2.30 Knowitalls (S). 3.00 Monk (R,S). 3.45 Flog It! (R,S). Bargain-hunting in Eastbourne. 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (S). 5.15 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds (R,S). 5.45 Match Of the Day Live (S). norway v Scotland (Kick-off 6.00pm). Coverage of the World Cup group nine qualifier at the ullevaal Stadion in Oslo. 6.00 Match Of The Day kick-off. 8.00 Economy Gastronomy (S). 2/6. Leading chefs and restaurateurs allegra McEvedy and Paul Merrett show Simon and Isobel Colton how to reduce their expenditure in food without compromising taste. Isobel has fallen out of love with cooking, preparing the same recipe several times a week, and the duo challenge them to stick to an economy plan and cook a three-course meal. 9.00 Dragons Den (S,HD). 5/8. Panellists theo Paphitis, James Caan, Deborah Meaden, Peter Jones and Duncan Bannatyne assess business pitches including an online community for food lovers, single- serve wine containers, a range of bug-busting cleaning products and a collection of customisable sandals. Evan Davis presents. 10.00 Taking The Flak (S). 6/7. David is unimpressed when Jeremy Morrison is brought in to report on the ceasefire and Jane finds herself caught in the middle of their rivalry with just one cameraman to share between them. Meanwhile, Margaret records animals and Harry mentors a local journalist. 10.30 Newsnight (S). With Kirsty Wark. Followed by Weather. 11.20 The Wire (S). 11/13. Carcetti faces a dilemma over a complaint from the minister about Hercs mistreatment of him, and an irate Prez confronts Carver. Colvin battles for the future of his classes, while Omar tricks Proposition Joe into giving away the timing of his next shipment. after being tempted back to the Major Crimes unit by Daniels, Freamon has a revelation. 12.20 BBC news (S). 4.35 Close. Paul Merrett 8pm, Economy Gastronomy 10.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of the Islands (R,S). 12.00 news at noon (S). 12.30 Whats In a Word? (R,S). 12.50 Film: McLintock! (S,HD) (1963). Western, starring John Wayne. 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S). 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S). 4.10 Deal Or no Deal: noels Hall Of Fame (R,S). 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S). the dinner party challenge continues in Oxford. 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S). the conclusion of the dinner party challenge from Oxfordshire. 6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 5/23. Homer befriends a group of holidaying celebrities. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Despite instigating the reunion between Elliot and his father, Leila begins to doubt gareths intentions. Meanwhile, abi and Daniel clash. 7.00 News (S). 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Microsoft Babies (S). 3/8. a Microsoft employee recalls her maternity leave and how relieved she was when she was able to return to work. 8.00 Location, Location, Location (S). 2/12. Kirstie allsopp and Phil Spencer help a couple and two doctors who are looking for their dream homes. gary Wakefield and his wife nicky have a wishlist that includes three bedrooms and a large garden in the Wirral area, while graduate doctors gemma Kealty and Susannah Brown are considering a flatshare in Sefton Park in Liverpool. 9.00 Big Brother (S). a chance to catch up on the latest action from the Big Brother house, as the contestants up for eviction this week hear the news. 10.00 Ugly Betty (S,HD). 8/24. an issue of Mode is about to be shipped that could have disastrous results for the magazines reputation and Betty needs Daniels help to stop it. unfortunately he and his mum Claire are at a company retreat and cannot be reached. Meanwhile, Hilda starts a beauty salon -- despite being turned down for a permit. 11.00 Skins (S,HD). 7/10. JJ feels overwhelmed by the changes taking place in his friendship circle. His psychiatric clinic only gives him a fresh supply of drugs, and his mother appears worn out by it all. 12.05 teachers (R,S). Lindsay tells Penny to get a grip. 1.10 Big Brother Live. the latest action from the Big Brother house, as it happens. 4.00 David Copperfield (R,S). Part one. Drama, starring Hugh Dancy. 5.35 Sali Mali (S). Jackdaw helps Sali. 5.40 the Hoobs (R,S). Kirstie Allsopp 8pm, Location, Location, Location 10.45 trisha goddard (R,S). 11.45 House (R,S). 12.40 Five news (S). 12.50 Medical Investigation (R,S). 1.45 neighbours (S). Sunny breaks up with Zeke. 2.15 Zoo Days (R,S). the staff vaccinate a large number of Colchester Zoos animals. 2.50 Property List: top Spots (R,S). Highlights from the series exploring the nations best homes. 3.05 the Family Recipe (R,S). 3.10 Film: accidental Friendship (S) (2008). Premiere. Drama, starring Chandra Wilson. 5.00 Five news With natasha Kaplinsky (S). 5.30 neighbours (R,S). 6.00 Michaelas Animal Road Trip (S). 8/20. Presenter Michaela Strachan prepares a special meal for the ant-eating animals, Lottie the sea lion receives treatment for an eye problem, and the zoos gamekeepers celebrate the arrival of their first lion cubs in 25 years. 7.00 Five News At 7 (S). 7.30 Monkey Life (R,S). Eighty-eight capuchin monkeys rescued from a research laboratory in Chile wake up to their first morning at the Monkey World ape Rescue Centre in Dorset. Young chimp Rodders has trouble with a sticky melon, and the parks naughtiest resident, Seamus, comes face to face with alpha male Butch. Followed by Five News Update. 8.00 It Could Happen To You (S) (1994). a cop is unable to give a waitress a tip, but promises to split the proceeds with her if he wins the lottery. However, his elation when he actually bags the jackpot fades when his furious wife makes it plain she does not want him to honour the promise. Comedy based on a real-life story, starring nicolas Cage, Bridget Fonda and Rosie Perez. 10.05 Kickboxer (S) (1989). a martial arts student trains to become the ultimate kickboxer, determined to exact revenge on the brutal champion who paralysed his brother during a fighting contest. action thriller, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dennis alexio, Haskell V anderson, Dennis Chan, Rochelle ashana, Steve Lee, Richard Foo and Michel Qissi. 12.05 Poker. action from the latest heat of the European Open V, as seven playersbattled it out for the remaining places on the final table. 1.40 Ironman triathlon (R). action from the China leg of the Ironman World Championships. 2.30 Cricket On Five (R). England v australia. Mark nicholas presents action from the Fourth test, as the great rivals clashed at Headingley. 5.10 neighbours (R,S). 5.35 great artists (R,S). El greco, one of the most distinctive painters of his era, whose work was ahead of its time during the 16th century. 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