LISTINGS London Lite Thursday, 6 August 2009 25 HugH Dancy is adam, a handsome loner with aspergers syndrome. He says what he sees, so when pretty Beth (Rose Byrne) moves in upstairs, he blurts out: you make me sexually excited. For some reason, she finds this endearing, not creepy, and they start going out. He takes her to watch raccoons in central Park. He shows her his bedroom planetarium. He embarrasses her at parties, a bit like Forrest gump. and thats basically all that happens in this romcom without the com. The big problem is that their relationship is never convincing -- what would an attractive girl see in a man with a tedious space fixation, after all? Dancy is good as adam, but you cant help thinking hes taken heed of Ben Stillers wisdom in Tropic Thunder: never go full retard. The problem with this sensitive film is that you just dont care enough. AC FROM the same school as Michael Moore, The yes Men, a loose collective of anti- globalisation activists led by andy Bichlbaum and Mike Bonnano, tackle corporate misbehaviour in this compelling, thought-provoking and often amusing documentary. Their modus operandi is to launch a fake corporate website and wait for invitations. So the BBc asks them (believing theyre from Dow chemicals) to contribute to a feature on the Indian Bhopal disaster; the failure of a chemical plant now owned by Dow. Better than it sounds. PC REVIEWSCINEMA ALSo ShowING ThIS week... nOTHIng to do with or even, James Honeybornes touching wildlife docu used ground-breaking techniques to follow the meerkats struggle for survival in the Kalahari desert. The stars lighten the tone by being so darn funny- looking. The late Paul newman narrates. MArThA De LACey Psychoticorphanisjustterror-fic Handsome loner: Adam (Dancy) Needyrelationship lacksloveinterest Adam Cert 12A, 99 mins HHHII Theres something wrong with esther, booms the ominous tagline. What, do you mean apart from the bloodless complexion, psychotic stare and head that looks as though its about to swivel round 360 degrees? It may be obvious from the poster, but this hollywood horror isnt going to subtly manipulate your nerves. A grieving couple, played by Isabelle Fuhrman and Peter sarsgaard, decide to adopt a child after their third daughter is stillborn. At the local orphanage, they pick out esther (Vera Farmiga), a nine- year-old girl with a sinister russian accent and a mysterious past. her first adoptive family, naturally, died in a house fire. her new mum and dad take her home, where, at first, she seems very happy. Its not hard to see why. Their isolated home has everything a demonic child could possibly want, including an icy pond and a poorly hidden gun. esther sets about ingratiating herself with her deaf little sister and her older brother, who manifests his unhappiness at her arrival by getting into heavy metal. esther is a little... different, though. she has the wardrobe of a dead Victorian. she keeps her sock drawer very tidy. Clearly, dreadful things are afoot. It doesnt take long for horror to be unleashed -- about as long as it takes esther to discover the DIY tools in the basement, in fact. Jaume Collet-serra, the director who cast Paris hilton in the terrible house Of Wax, hasnt made the same mistake here. Fuhrman and sarsgaard are brilliant as the conflicted parents, and Farmiga is terrifying as the child from hell. There are, of course, predictable moments: as soon as a do-gooding nun comes on screen, you know shell meet a bloody end. The twist will take you by surprise, though -- its so bonkers you could never see it coming. Orphan may be silly but it comes with more jumps than a scratched record -- what more could you want? AMBer CowAN Orphan Cert 15, 123 mins HHHII The Meerkats Cert PG, 83 mins HHHII THIS odd little film focuses on a family living next to an abandoned motorway -- they use the Tarmac as a playground and their life seems idyllic. But once the highway is reopened the family starts to crumble. Isabelle Huppert as the nervous mother and Olivier gourmet as her husband are both brilliant. Intriguing, if a little slight. PC ThIs is the first of two parts of a magnificent, epic French thriller, telling the rise and fall of notorious real-life gangster Jacques Mesrine (Vincent Cassel): a true bad un, a vicious gangster whose mastery of disguise earned the nick- name man of a thousand faces. The breathless and brilliant story begins with his death in a hail of police bullets in 1979. Then were in Algeria in 1959 as young Mesrine, a French army soldier, participates in mind-numbing violence. In France he plunges into crime mentored by gang boss Guido (Grard Depardieu). This isnt for the squeamish, but theres real, pulsating power here. Terrific. PC Menfixitbyfakingit Home Cert 15, 98 mins HHHII GoodfellasgoesGallic is all the result of christopher Ecclestons mad arms dealer Mccullen -- from glasgow by way of Peckham, if his unsteady accent is anything to go by -- who wants to take over the world and has recruited a mad scientist and a team of customised hard-nuts, including ana, to help him and his Team cobra. Duke and co have to stop him. cue lots of bangs, fight- ing and wildly variable cgI. g.I. Joe just about succeeds because it doesnt take itself seriously. The script is occasionally funny, the action non-stop and with the cast mostly gloriously over- the-top (the curiously inert Tatum aside) theres more sweat- ing ham here than at a piggerys end-of-term disco. Sinister: Esther (Farmiga) The Yes Men Fix The World Cert 12A, 87 mins HHHII Mesrine: Killer Instinct Cert 15, 113 mins HHHHI Powerful: Mesrine (Cassel) Leather look: a dark-haired Sienna Miller fires up G.I. Joe index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html24.html25.html26.html27.html28.html29.html30.html31.html32.html33.html34.html35.html