TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service STEPHEN MARR BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five London Lite Tuesday, 4 August 2009 21 10.30 No Place Like Home? (S) Expats in Cyprus consider returning to the UK. 11.25 ITV News Headlines (S). 11.30 60 Minute Makeover (R,S). 12.30 Loose Women (S). With Les Dennis and June Brown. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 London News And Weather (S). 2.00 Dickinsons Real Deal (R,S). 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge (S). Journalist Donal MacIntyre judges todays dishes. 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Heartbeat (R,S). Three farm children are left orphaned. 5.00 Golden Balls (S). Game show, hosted by Jasper Carrott. 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale (S). As Nicola recovers in hospital, she and Jimmy tell Carl he must take some blame for the accident and urge him to sort out his marriage before any more damage is done. Meanwhile, Val is cut off by Pollard and Diane. 7.30 Youve Been Framed! (R,S) Comedian Harry Hill narrates a selection of camcorder calamities and viewers mobile phone footage. 8.00 Send In The Dogs (S). 3/8. PC Dave Smith and his Belgian shepherd Kelly race to the scene of a burglary at a pet-food store, but when the suspects are found to have fled the scene, police helicopter India 99 is used to help track them down. Meanwhile, the London heats of the annual police dog trials give PC Andy Millers dog Nelson the chance to test his skills. 9.00 Car Crime UK (S). 3/6. The Intercept team in Cornwall recruits a sniffer dog to search a suspects car and finds drugs to the value of 2,000, and officers in Tameside, Greater Manchester, chase a driver who refuses to stop. However, the biggest discovery is in the centre of Manchester, where a raid on a huge cannabis factory leads to one of the largest hauls of its kind in the city. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather (S). 10.30 London News And Weather (S). 10.35 Police, Camera, Action! (R,S) 4/30. Adrian Simpson shares statistics revealing that more than 500,000 cars are stolen in Britain each year and offers tips to help viewers keep their vehicles secure. 11.05 Supernatural (S). 18/22. Sam and Dean investigate a spate of murders on a film set and try to work out whether ghosts are involved or if the killings are part of a hoax. Jared Padelecki stars. 12.00 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Action Stations (R,S). 12.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency (R,S); ITV News Headlines. 1.45 Loose Women (R). With Les Dennis. 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 3.25 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Morning News (S). 11.00 The Flintstones (R,S). 11.25 Film: The Story Of An African Farm (S) (2004). Drama, starring Richard E Grant. 1.00 Open Gardens (R,S). 1.30 Animal Park (R,S). 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting (R,S). Searching for bargains in Rochefort, France. 3.00 Monk (R,S). The police have Monk admitted to a psychiatric hospital. 3.45 Flog It! (R,S) 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S). Tim Wonnacott and David Harper attend an antiques fair in France. 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic (R,S). Helen Lederer has a clear-out. 6.00 Eggheads (S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Knowitalls (S). 7/15. Two teams pool their knowledge of travel, and geography, food and drink, and art and literature in a bid to reach the quarter-finals. With Gyles Brandreth. 7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? (R,S,HD). 3/6. TV presenter Kate Humble finds out about her family history. She begins by researching the life of her paternal grandfather, a test pilot during the Second World War, and investigates the story of her great-great-great grandfather, who was a colliery manager in Northumberland. 8.00 Coast (S,HD). 4/8. The documentary series continues, as the team embarks on a tour of the southern shoreline of Ireland. In Cork, Neil Oliver explores the last port visited by the ill-fated Titanic, while Miranda Krestovnikoff heads for Co Wexford for an encounter with the white-fronted goose. Elsewhere, Dick Strawbridge takes a ride on Brunels Folly. 9.00 Desperate Romantics (S,HD). 3/6. Millais attracts envy from his friends in the brotherhood when Ruskin offers to be his patron and insists the artist paint his wife Effie. Trapped in a loveless marriage, she reveals her husband will not consummate their relationship and Millais realises he is expected to sleep with her in return for Ruskins support. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast (S). 3/6. A third of the way through Alfred Wainwrights route across northern England, Julia Bradbury reaches the Eden Valley. The bustling town of Kirkby Stephen marks the beginning of her climb over the Pennines, but wet weather makes for a challenging journey. 10.30 Newsnight (S). With Kirsty Wark. Followed by Weather. 11.20 The Wire (S). 7/13. Omar (Michael K Williams) convinces Bunk to help him prove his innocence, and Greggs revisits the crime scene and finds new evidence relating to the witness who was killed. Prez manages to trick his students into learning maths, while in Colvins class Namond discovers that certain school rules no longer apply. Continues tomorrow. 12.20 BBC News (S). 3.30 Close. 11.00 The OC (R,S). 12.00 News At Noon (S). 12.30 A Place By The Sea (R,S). 1.25 Film: The Return Of Frank James (S) (1940). Western sequel, starring Henry Fonda and Gene Tierney. 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S,HD). 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S,HD). 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Noels Hall Of Fame (R,S). 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S,HD). Jon Wiltshire prepares another West Indian-themed dinner. 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S,HD). Jo Mills hosts the final party in West Yorkshire. 6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 21/22. When Bart moons the American flag, the family is sent to Alcatraz. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Michaela and Zak help Carmel with the preparations for the reopening of Evissa and come up with a plan to get Jacqui to speak to her sister. 7.00 News (S). 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate (S). 14/16. The empty hallways of the Sighthill Estate in Glasgow cast light on some of the residents lives over the years as the notorious area is prepared for demolition. 8.00 Property Snakes And Ladders (S). 9/11. In his first appearance, Gareth Milford was renovating a remote cottage in the Herefordshire countryside. Inspired by his success, he decided to become a part-time estate agent, and in this edition, Sarah Beeny discovers whether a change of career has paid off for the former record producer. 9.00 Big Brother (S). Highlights of the latest goings-on in the house, including the latest nominations. 10.00 You Have Been Watching (S). 5/8. Charlie Brooker is joined by Reginald D Hunter, Martin Freeman and Liza Tarbuck for the comedy quiz examining the highs and lows of the weeks TV programmes. 10.50 The Inbetweeners (S). 6/6. Will becomes stressed as the friends prepare for their exams -- apart from Jay, who finds himself preoccupied. Last in the series. 11.25 Rude Tube (R,S). 7/7. Notorious internet videos and the people who star in them. Last in the series. 11.55 4Music: Mika: Video Exclusive (S). The singers video for the single We Are Golden. 12.00 The Kevin Bishop Show (R,S). 12.30 World Series Of Poker Europe (R,S). 1.30 Big Brother Live. 4.00 Post Modern Pastimes (R,S). 4.15 World Sport (R,S). 4.40 World Superbikes (S). 5.10 British GT Championship (R,S). 5.35 FIA GT Championship (R,S). 10.45 Trisha Goddard (R,S). 11.45 House (R,S). 12.40 Five News (S). 12.50 Medical Investigation (R,S). 1.45 Neighbours (S). 2.15 Zoo Days (R,S). Katavi the cheetah cub takes his first steps outdoors. 2.50 Property List: Top Spots (R,S). Highlights. 3.05 The Family Recipe (R,S). With Italian chef Antonio Carluccio. 3.10 Film: A Kiss At Midnight (S) (2008). Premiere. Drama, starring Faith Ford and Cameron Daddo. 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky (S). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S). Bridget (Eloise Mignon) is taken to hospital. 6.00 Michaelas Animal Road Trip (S). 2/20. At Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire, presenter Michaela Strachan meets Spud, a hedgehog facing a life without spines unless staff at the facility can find a cure for his chronic skin condition. 7.00 Five News At 7 (S). 7.30 Vets In Action (R,S). A pregnant cow contracts milk fever, and vet Neil Eastham is dispatched to attend to the animal and its unborn calf. Narrated by Kym Marsh. Followed by Five News Update. 8.00 Big, Bigger, Biggest (S). The six technological breakthroughs that enabled the construction of the USS Pennsylvania. From the invention of the first submersible timber vessel in 1776 to developments in torpedoes and nuclear power, these innovations have contributed to the creation of a mammoth underwater warship. See Ben Felsenburg Followed by Five News At 9. 9.00 CSI: Miami (S). 6/25. Calleigh and Erics hopes of bringing down mobster Joey Salucci are dashed when a crane crashes into their building, causing their witness William Campbell to plunge to his death. The detectives try to determine why the machine malfunctioned and, finding blood in the cabin, deduce the operator must have been killed intentionally. 10.00 CSI: NY (R,S). Mac discovers the victims of three seemingly unrelated killings, which took place simultaneously at locations around the city, had one very significant thing in common - they were all about to go to trial for murder, and had agreed to provide evidence against a drug dealer in exchange for reduced sentences. Followed by Five News Update. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (R,S). 6/23. A womans skeleton is discovered. 12.00 The Guardian (R,S). Nick is arrested on drugs charges. 1.00 US Tour Golf. The Buick Open. 1.55 European Challenge Tour Golf. The Challenge of Ireland and the Saint-Omer Open. 2.20 European Challenge Tour Golf. 3.10 Motorsport Mundial. 3.35 Indy Car Series (R). 4.20 Indy Car Series. 5.10 Neighbours (R,S). 5.35 Great Artists (R,S). Profile of Leonardo da Vinci. Crash Film4, 9pm (2004) THIS film follows the intersecting lives of eight main characters during a 24-hour period in Los Angeles. Like Short Cuts (1993) and almost every Quentin Tarantino film, the main characters do not know how their actions are affecting the lives of others. Thandie Newton and Matt Dillon, above, lead a solid cast that also includes Sandra Bullock and Don Cheadle. Written and directed by Paul Haggis. 40 Days And 40 Nights ITV2, 9pm (2002) I DONT like lame stories that masquerade as all-knowing relationship textbooks. In this one, like many others before and since, the hero finds his perfect mate but theres a promise/secret he has that prevents true love from taking off. The films only saving grace is the chemistry between stars Shannyn Sossamon and Josh Hartnett, above. Guess Who Film4, 6.55pm (2005) IN A remake of the quaint (if racist) Guess Whos Coming To Dinner (1967), the roles are now reversed but the problem is still the same. A black father has a lot to say about his daughter marrying a white guy. While it deals with the prejudices of mixed-race couples, the writers just manage to keep it light-hearted. Stars Ashton Kutcher and Bernie Mac, above. Swordfish Five USA, 9pm (2001) APART from a very impressive explosion scene -- employing the bullet time effect of super-slow motion -- the only other notable scene is Halle Berry gratuitously going topless for a reported 500,000 extra in her pay packet (actually, it wasnt really worth half a million). Flawed heist film with a stellar cast, including John Travolta, above. FROM 75 2009 Specsavers Optical Group. 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