TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five London Lite Friday, 31 July 2009 27 Real Women Have Curves ITV1, 1.30am (2002) THE jolliest (and wobbliest) scene in this feelgood family drama has dressmaking factory workers stripping naked on the shopfloor to celebrate their plumpness -- what would elfnsafety say about that with all those pins around? A pre-Ugly Betty America Ferrera, pictured, is endearing as a Mexican American girl who wins a scholarship to a top university, but is told to find a job instead. As Good As It Gets More4, 9pm (1997) THE opening credits have barely stopped rolling before writer Melvin Udall has kicked his neighbours dog down a rubbish chute. Hes also racist, sexist and homophobic. But you wont find him repellent... heeeeres Jack Nicholson, above, as the Scrooge-like unlikely candidate for romance. Helen Hunt is the tough waitress who manages to tame him. The Parallax View ITV3, 10pm (1974) SUPERIOR political thriller -- with more than a hint of paranoia -- from Alan J Pakula, who went on to direct All The Presidents Men. Dont be put off by the Seventies big hair -- Warren Beatty, above, has never been better as an ambitious reporter who uncovers an enormous conspiracy about the assassination of a US senator. The Negotiator BBC1, 11.20pm (1998) SAMUEL L JACKSON is a skilled hostage negotiator who stages a siege of his own after being framed for murder. Enter fellow negotiator Kevin Spacey, who has his work cut out because Jackson knows all the tricks of their trade. An intelligent thriller with excellent performances from not only the headliners, but also that wily ol scene- stealer JT Walsh, pictured with Jackson. WENDY SAYERS 10.30 No Place Like Home? (S) 11.25 ITV News Headlines (S). 11.30 60 Minute Makeover (R,S). 12.30 Loose Women (S). With Jenny Agutter and Alan Carr. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 London News And Weather (S). 2.00 Dickinsons Real Deal (R,S). 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge (S). Dermot Murnaghan judges todays efforts. 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Heartbeat (R,S). Ventress goes in search of a bogus water board official who has been robbing the elderly. 5.00 Golden Balls (S). Game show, hosted by Jasper Carrott. 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale (S). Val pleads for forgiveness from Pollard but to no avail, and makes it clear to Diane that the pub is all she has left. 7.30 Coronation Street (S). Chesney watches on as Fiz searches for her engagement ring. Hayley and Anna help Becky with her wedding preparations, and Jason receives confirmation of his mortgage to buy No 12. See Soap Box 8.00 Airline (R,S). 16/20. A man tries to get his son on a plane without a boarding card, but there are even more problems ahead. Plus, TV chef Phil Vickery passes through Luton on his way to Bordeaux. 8.30 Coronation Street (S). Anna helps Chesney before he makes a mistake that could haunt him for ever, and David forces Joe to meddle in Tinas relationship. See Soap Box 9.00 Doc Martin (R,S). 7/7. The doctor and Louisa make plans for their wedding, but the big day runs far from smoothly, as a drunken vicar leaves Martin with a dilemma. Meanwhile, the restaurant where the reception is to be held is flooded and Isobel goes into labour. Comedy drama, starring Martin Clunes and Caroline Catz. Last in the series. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather (S). 10.25 London News And Weather (S). 10.35 The Bill (R,S,HD). Mickey encounters a teenager who claims she has been raped. Suspicion falls on her boyfriend, but sensitive questioning reveals the incident took place two years ago at a party when the girl was very drunk. 11.35 ITunes Festival 2009 (S). 2/2. Part two of two. Fearne Cotton and Dave Berry presents music and interviews from Camden. 12.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime (R,S). Documentary following the work of police officers; ITV News Headlines. 1.30 Film: Real Women Have Curves (S) (2002). Comedy drama, starring America Ferrera and Lupe Ontiveros. See Film Choice 3.00 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Morning News (S). Caroline Catz 9pm, Doc Martin 10.35 Serious Ocean (R,S). 11.05 The Flintstones (R,S). 11.30 Castle In The Country (R,S). Floors Castle in the Scottish Borders. 12.00 Open Gardens (R,S). Visits to Bristol and Staffordshire. 12.30 Working Lunch (S). 1.00 Swimming (S). Day five of the swimming events at the World Aquatic Championships. 2.00 Live Golf: The Womens British Open (S). Hazel Irvine introduces coverage of the second day from Royal Lytham & St Annes Golf Club in Lancashire, as South Koreas Jiyai Shin continues the defence of her title. 6.00 Eggheads (S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Knowitalls (S). 5/15. Two teams of contestants are assigned topics and have just one hour to pool their knowledge before facing the experts, who include Chris Packham. Hosted by Gyles Brandreth. 7.00 Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture (S). 1/4. New series. Exploring mans relationship with the land, charting the revolution that food production in Britain underwent in the 20th century. The first programme features the home movies of two dairy farmers from the south of England and looks at the changing ways in which milk was distributed. 8.00 Gardeners World (S,HD). 11/23. Toby Buckland suggests the best water lilies and plants for small ponds at the RHS garden at Wisley, where he also tours the glasshouse seeking inspiration for exotic plants he can grow at Greenacre. Joe Swift advises on colourful climbing plants for pergolas, Alys Fowler sows oriental vegetable seeds, and Carol Klein discusses the dahlia. 9.00 Classic Goldie (S). 1/2. Part one of two. Following his runner-up spot in conducting competition Maestro, drum n bass artist Goldie takes on a new challenge -- composing an orchestral work to be performed as part of the BBC Proms in Londons Royal Albert Hall. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 QI (R,S). 2/12. Johnny Vegas, Sean Lock, Pam Ayres and regular panellist Alan Davies join host Stephen Fry for the quiz with a difference, in which the questions are so difficult points are awarded for the most interesting answers rather than the correct ones. 10.30 Newsnight (S). Analysis of the days events, with Jon Sopel. 11.00 Newsnight Review (S). Discussion of the weeks cultural highlights, with Tim Marlow. Followed by Weather. 11.35 Medium (R,S). 2/22. Part two of two. Allison comes closer to interpreting her dreams. 12.20 Medium (R,S). Allison dreams about the same day. 1.00 The Wire (R,S). Royce takes drastic action against Carcetti. 2.00 The Wire (R,S). Marlo rejects Proposition Joes offer to join the co-op. 2.55 The Wire (R,S). 3.55 Close. Toby Buckland 8pm, Gardeners World 11.00 The OC (R,S). 12.00 News At Noon (S). 12.30 The Kitchen Pharmacy (R,S). 12.45 A Place By The Sea (R,S). 1.45 Channel 4 Racing From Glorious Goodwood (S). Alastair Down introduces live coverage of four races on the fourth day of the prestigious flat meeting, including the 3.25 totesport Mile (Hcap) (1m). 4.15 Deal Or No Deal (R,S). Noel Edmonds hosts the game show in which contestants try to guess the contents of mystery boxes. 5.00 Come Dine With Me (R,S). Four amateur chefs in Newcastle attempt to outdo each other. 6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 18/22. Homer becomes a masked vigilante, taking revenge on wrongdoers by throwing pies at them. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Kris enjoys dishing out orders to Zak and Zo in his new job -- and the pair are angered by his insensitivity. 7.00 News (S). 7.35 The Great Piano Scam (S). The story of Joyce Hatto, revealing how she became one of the worlds most acclaimed classical recording artists thanks to a fraud perpetrated by her husband William Barrington-Coupe. Six years on, Barrington-Coupe discusses his motives, and music lovers explain why they were deceived. See Ben Felsenburg 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? (R,S,HD). 3/10. DJ John Fleming is looking for a holiday home in which to escape the hectic atmosphere of his work. He enlists the aid of Jonnie Irwin and Jasmine Harman to help him decide whether to spend his 150,000 budget on a ranch home in Texas or a seaside retreat in Scotland. 9.00 Big Brother (S). Davina McCall counts down to another eviction, which this week sees friends- turned-enemies Marcus and Noirin going head to head for the public vote, and presents highlights of the past 24 hours in the house. 10.00 The Kevin Bishop Show (S). 1/6. New series. Sketch show which sends up personalities from the worlds of TV, film and popular culture. See Ben Felsenburg 10.35 Big Brother (S). Davina McCall and two guests talk to the latest evictee -- either Marcus or Noirin -- who will no doubt talk about the ups and downs of their friendship and the love triangle with Siavash. 11.05 The Simpsons (R,S). 10/22. Homer takes Ned Flanders advice and starts praying regularly. 11.35 Russell Brands Ponderland (R,S). 1/5. The comedian offers his unusual perspective on pets. 12.10 4Music: Newton Faulkner: Video Exclusive (S). 12.15 4Music: Pet Shop Boys And Little Boots (S). 12.45 4Music: 4Play: Raygun (S). 1.00 Big Brother Live. 4.00 Freesports On 4 (R,S). 4.25 Freesports On 4 (S). 4.55 Beach Volleyball (S). 5.25 Countdown (R,S). Noirin Kelly 9pm, Big Brother 10.45 Trisha Goddard (R,S). 11.45 House (R,S). 12.45 Five News (S). 12.55 Wordplay (S). 1.45 Neighbours (S). Dan has trouble accepting Stephs offer. 2.15 Home And Away (S). The search to find Annie and Jai begins. 2.50 Wordplay Plus (S). Viewers take part in the daily quiz show. Last in the series. 3.10 Film: The Waiting Game (S) (1998). An enigmatic stranger embroils an art gallery owner in a tangled scheme involving drug smuggling and the CIA. Drama, with Paula Abdul. 5.00 Five News (S). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S). 6.00 Home And Away (R,S). Miles, Bartlett and Palmer embark on a search for Annie and Jai. 6.30 Rough Guide To Trips Of A Lifetime (R,S). 5/15. Toby Amies stays in a 360-per-night villa in one of the worlds oldest rainforests on the Malaysian island of Langkawi. 7.00 Five News At 7 (S). The days headlines with Matt Barbet. 7.15 Cricket On Five (S). England v Australia. Mark Nicholas presents action from day two of the Third Test at Edgbaston, as the teams continued their five-match series, which England lead 1-0. With commentary by Geoffrey Boycott, Ian Chappell and Simon Hughes. Followed by Five News Update. 8.00 Police Interceptors (S). Members of Essexs high-speed police interception unit chase a lorry driver across three counties. Elsewhere, the teams adapted vehicles are pushed to speeds of up to 115mph while in pursuit of a joyrider. The officers also get the chance to hone their skills with the Subaru World Rally team. Followed by Five News At 9. 9.00 NCIS (R,S). 11/24. The team tries to find out who was responsible for sabotaging a robotic vehicle that caused the death of a Navy lieutenant and almost killed Abby. Meanwhile, Zivas suspicions are aroused by the discovery that Tony is repeatedly visiting the hospital. Drama, starring Pauley Perrette, Cote de Pablo and Mark Harmon. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent (S). 11/22. A Muslim student is murdered, and initial inquiries suggest the crime was prompted by her efforts to break up a clash between two ethnic groups. However, Logan and Wheeler later learn the victim was secretly dating an Italian-American against the wishes of her parents, who had organised an arranged marriage. 11.00 CSI: Miami (R,S). 5/25. A teenager dies in an explosion while shopping at a boutique. Horatio and the team try to trace the source of the blast, and are shocked by what they find. Emily Procter stars. 12.00 Quiz Call. Interactive game show. 4.00 The Gadget Show (R,S). Music- streaming programmes and social networking websites. 4.45 Wildlife SOS (R,S). The work of volunteers at an animal sanctuary. 5.10 Neighbours (R,S). 5.35 Home And Away (R,S). Emily Procter 11pm, CSI: Miami index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html24.html25.html26.html27.html28.html29.html30.html31.html32.html33.html34.html35.html36.html37.html38.html39.html40.html41.html42.html43.html44.html45.html46.html47.html