TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service STEPHEN MARR BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five London Lite Monday, 27 July 2009 21 The Player ITV4, 12.40am (1992) GRIFFIN MILL is a film executive who is receiving death threats. After confronting the writer he suspects is behind the threats (with tragic consequences), Griffin finds himself in a sticky situation: the studio security chief is asking questions, Griffins becoming infatuated with the writers girlfriend -- and the threats are still coming. Stars Tim Robbins, above. The Pink Panther Strikes Again Film4, 6.55pm (1976) DOES your derg bite? Peter Sellers, above, returns in the fourth and perhaps funniest of the Pink Panther series. Chief Dreyfus, residing for now in a mental hospital, has been driven round the bend by the bumbling Clouseau. His imminent release from care is delayed when Clouseau pays him a visit -- and pushes him back over the edge. The Butterfly Effect E4, 11.05pm (2003) DEMI MOORES toyboy, Ashton Kutcher (he must hate being called that), stars in this odd sci-fi thriller. Evan Treborn has blanked out bad moments in his childhood. Now grown up, he has found a way of reliving his suppressed memories -- altering reality in the process. Kutcher is surprisingly good, as is his co-star Amy Smart, pictured with Kutcher, above. The Game ITV4, 10pm (1997) A SELFISH American investment banker is given an unusual 48th birthday present by his free-spirited younger brother. He is enrolled in a mysterious game, the nature of which is never revealed -- and as he tries to fathom the rules, his life rapidly begins to unravel in explosive fashion. David Finchers thriller, starring Michael Douglas, above, Sean Penn and Deborah Kara Unger. 10.30 No Place Like Home? (S). 11.25 ITV News Headlines (S). 11.30 60 Minute Makeover (R,S). A home transformation for a woman in Glasgow. 12.30 Loose Women (S). Topical debate. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 London News And Weather (S). 2.00 Dickinsons Real Deal (R,S). From Lincoln. 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge (S). Ed Baines and Paul Merrett cook for Mark Foster. 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Heartbeat (R,S). Merton finds himself under pressure. 5.00 Golden Balls (S). New series. Game show, with Jasper Carrott. 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale (S). Faye makes it clear to Mark that she will not be leaving the village, while Cain offers Ryan a job at the garage in an attempt to win her over. 7.30 Coronation Street (S). David uses Joes addiction to his own advantage while pretending to help. Becky fails to understand Slugs warning, and Natasha spills the beans on Tony. See Soap Box 8.00 Airline (R,S). 15/20. As football fans head for the World Cup, six of Lutons check-in staff prepare for their own tournament in Germany. 8.30 Coronation Street (S). David intensifies his war with Joe by suddenly increasing the price of his pills. Tony takes steps to reconcile with Helen and Barry, and Chesney asks Fiz for the cash to celebrate his birthday with friends. See Soap Box 9.00 Monday Monday (S). 3/7. Max is made head of marketing and comes up with a campaign featuring former Wimbledon doubles finalist Nathan Wright (Nicholas Burns). The sportsman turns out to be Natashas brother, and when Max is challenged to a match, the pair team up to have Nathan fired. Identity cards cause upset among the staff, and Roger discovers a blog spreading rumours. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather (S). 10.30 London News And Weather (S). 10.35 The Bill (R,S). Part one of two. A youth suspected of an assault on three youngsters is hit by a lorry and killed while running away from Callum and Ben, and the grieving mother supplies an alibi for her son. Jacob is assigned as liaison officer. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency (R,S). Documentary following fire crews, paramedics, ambulance teams, doctors and nurses as they make split-second life-or-death decisions. 12.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency (R,S); ITV News Headlines. 1.30 Loose Women (R). Topical debate from a female perspective. 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 3.10 ITV Nightscreen. Guests air their differences. 5.30 ITV Morning News (S). Nicholas Burns 9pm, Monday Monday 10.35 Serious Ocean (R,S). 11.05 The Flintstones (R,S). 11.30 Castle In The Country (R,S). 12.00 Open Gardens (R,S). 12.30 Working Lunch (S). 1.00 Living In The Sun (R,S). 2.00 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting (R,S). 2.30 Animal Park (R,S). 3.00 Monk (R,S). An obese tycoon is accused of murder. 3.45 Flog It! (R,S). The teams search for bargains in Newcastle. 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (S). With Paul Hayes and Kate Bliss. 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic (R,S). Television presenter Janet Ellis auctions antiques for charity. 6.00 Eggheads (S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Knowitalls (S). 1/15. New series. Quiz show in which contestants are assigned topics and have just one hour to pool their knowledge before facing the experts. Hosted by Gyles Brandreth. 7.00 Top Gear (R,S). 6/7. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May are each challenged to find a classic car at auction for 3,000. The trio take the vehicles to Majorca, where they compete in a rally. Jeremy also test-drives the new BMW Z4 and Nissan 370Z, and AC/DC frontman Brian Johnson is the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. 8.00 University Challenge (S). 4/37. Clare College, Cambridge, takes on Jesus College, Oxford, for a place in the second round. Jeremy Paxman asks the questions. 8.30 What To Eat Now (S). 4/6. Chef Valentine Warner focuses on speedy recipes for summer lunches, harvesting wild herbs on a field trip to Glastonbury and cooking Sardinian-style octopus and peas. 9.00 The Supersizers Eat (S). 6/6. Giles Coren and Sue Perkins travel back to 44BC for a culinary journey through the early days of ancient Rome. Chef Valentina Harris prepares a range of exotic dishes, including a sauce made from rotten fish innards. After an attempt to conquer Britain, where they sample oysters, the pair return to Rome to enjoy a banquet. Last in the series. 10.00 How Not To Live Your Life (S,HD). 3/6. Don discovers he is legally obliged to organise a wake for his grandmother, with an open casket for her body. The only problem is, he had her cremated a few days earlier -- so he and Eddie visit a home for the elderly and audition people for the role. 10.30 Newsnight (S). With Nick Robinson. Followed by Weather. 11.20 The Wire (S). 3/13. Royce takes drastic action against Carcetti to reverse his ailing fortunes in the polls, while the new head of the Major Case Unit is not to Freamon and Greggs liking. The newly domesticated McNulty invites Bunk to dinner with him and Beadie, while Colvin considers an offer to help an academic research violent behaviour. Continues tomorrow. 12.20 BBC News (S). 4.20 Close. Sue Perkins 9pm, The Supersizers Eat 11.00 The OC (R,S). 12.00 News At Noon (S). 12.30 Checking Into History (R,S). The history of Claridges. 12.55 Film: Siege Of The Saxons (S) (1963). Adventure, starring Ronald Lewis. 2.35 Film: They Rode West (S) (1954). Western, starring Robert Francis. 4.15 Deal Or No Deal (R,S). Beat-the- banker game show. 5.00 Wogans Perfect Recall (S). Game show in which four contestants vie for a cash prize. 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S,HD). A beauty salon boss hosts the first dinner party in East Yorkshire. 6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 15/22. Homer and Marge visit a vineyard in California -- a jaunt that ends with a drunken Homer crashing the car. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Calvin begins his role as a security guard, but it is soon apparent that he cannot leave Spencer in Leos care. 7.00 News (S). 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate (S). 9/16. A Rwandan asylum-seeker describes how she has found paradise on the notorious Sighthill Estate in Glasgow. 8.00 Dispatches: Bankrolling Mugabe (S). Following last years disputed Zimbabwean elections and associated violence, this documentary investigates how Robert Mugabe and politicians in his Zanu-PF party are still clinging on to power. Reporter Aidan Hartley goes undercover to find out how the president has maintained his grip on the police, army and central bank. 9.00 The Scandalous Adventures Of Lord Byron (S,HD). 1/2. Rupert Everett retraces the journey of poet Lord Byron, who travelled around Europe and the Mediterranean 200 years ago. The actor recalls Byrons exploration of Portugal, Albania, Greece and Turkey, and discovers how Londons decadence prompted him to become immersed in different cultures. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 Big Brother (S). Highlights from the housemates past 24 hours inside the Big Brother compound. 11.15 Wife Swap (R,S). 7/11. A doting mother who cleans all day and works night shifts at a local garage trades lives with a businesswoman who enjoys making time for herself. 12.15 Big Brother Live. The latest action from the Big Brother house, as it happens. 4.00 Film: Identity Theft (S) (2004). A woman falls foul of fraudsters and ends up thousands of dollars in debt. Drama, starring Kimberly Williams and Annabella Sciorra. 5.30 The Hoobs (R,S). 5.55 The Hoobs (R,S). Robert Mugabe 8pm, Dispatches: Bankrolling Mugabe 10.45 Trisha Goddard (R,S). 11.45 House (R,S). 12.45 Five News (S). 12.55 Wordplay (S). 1.45 Neighbours (S). Paul disappears. 2.15 Home And Away (S). Aden accepts Belles marriage proposal. 2.50 Wordplay Plus (S). Viewers take part in the daily quiz show. 3.10 Film: First Shot: The President Is Down (S) (2002). A militia group intent on assassinating the US president targets the head of the secret service. Thriller, with Mariel Hemingway and Doug Savant. 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky (S). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S). 6.00 Home And Away (R,S). Aden accepts Belles marriage proposal. 6.30 Rough Guide To Weekend Getaways (R,S). 14/15. Toby Amies heads to Madrid, where he sees the sights from an unusual mode of transport, while Julia Bradbury seeks two days of relaxation in Provence. 7.00 Five News At 7 (S). 7.30 How Do They Do It? (R,S). Robert Llewellyn discovers how the Lancashire Fire Service trains its crews to tackle everything from blazing fuel tankers to search-and- rescue missions. He also witnesses operations at the worlds largest traffic-management centre and examines a tunnel-boring machine. Followed by Five News Update. 8.00 Fifth Gear (S). Jason Plato takes chef James Martin to Silverstone for a trip in a 1996 Benetton, Tim Shaw investigates car-share clubs in London, and Tom Ford test-drives the new Tramontana R, a single-seat vehicle designed in Spain. The Ford Sierra Cosworth and Mercedes 190E Cosworth are also pitted against each other. Followed by Five News At 9. 9.00 The Hotel Inspector (S). 4/8. Alex Polizzi tries to help Jonathan Davies and Jacquie Noot, who are struggling to attract guests to the Rose and Crown in the market town of Wisbech, Cambridgeshire. Alex is impressed with the bedrooms, but the discovery of mountains of Jonathans paperwork littering the hotels public areas prompts her to give the owners an ultimatum. 10.00 Rock Star (S) (2001). The frontman of a tribute band is given the opportunity to sing for his real-life heavy metal heroes -- but needs nerves of steel to handle the pressures of overnight success as he steps into the shoes of a world- famous vocalist. Drama, starring Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Aniston, Jason Flemyng and Dominic West. Includes Five News Update. 12.10 Lockdown (R,S). Series going behind the doors of Americas most dangerous prisons, focusing on Minnesotas Oak Park Heights. 1.10 NASCAR. The Allstate 400 at the Brickyard, a race won by Jimmie Johnson last season. 2.05 Race And Rally UK. The latest rallying highlights from around the country. 2.55 Motorsport Mundial. High- speed footage, news and views from around the world. 3.20 NHRA Drag Racing. The Fram Autolite Nationals. 5.10 Neighbours (R,S). Paul disappears. 5.35 Home And Away (R,S). Jacquie Noot 9pm, The Hotel Inspector index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html24.html25.html26.html27.html28.html29.html30.html31.html32.html33.html34.html35.html