This is Londons MESSAGEBOARDemail your views to or log on to 12 Thursday, 23 July 2009 London Lite Prices correct at time of going to print, subject to availability and conditions. Prices per night based on 2 sharing accommodation in July 09. See website for full terms and conditions. 4* porto from 43 4* lisbon from 50 4* algarve from 74 portugal hotels from 43get moree get more get more summer 09 Prices correct at time of going to print, subject to availability and conditions. Prices per night based on 2 sharing accommodation in July 09. See website for full terms and does anyone have an unwanted empty Tamiflu box? Want to sit on Tube reading directions. see if I can clear whole carriage! Terry, IG9 Is IT true that if you sneeze and break wind at the same time you do a backflip? Squirrel, Croydon Anyone else see man surfing down Thames through the City Wednesday afternoon? Amazing, but why? Riverwatcher, RM15 sAl (Txts, Wed): looking at my boyfriend and my psychic iPod started playing (you can do so much) Better Than This by Keane! RP, W5 sAl: day before dads wedding, put iPod on to shuffle, and dont Marry Her from The Beautiful south came on! Chas, E1 sAl: delivering baby as a midwife, All That she Wants Is Another Baby by Ace of Base was playing. dont think mother agreed! Lynne, Hants drIver of 00.10 from Charing Cross to Chelsfield just welcomed everyone on the vomit express. Any more legendary announcements by train drivers? Cuff Daddy, Chelsfield AfTer session being moaned at by wife, accused her of wine flu. now has the hump with me. What is her problem?! Perfect Husband, CRO rosy (Txts, Wed): gay men being turned straight? My friend had affair with gay man three years ago. now theyre getting married! CB, Tooting My gIrlfrIend and I have a difference of opinion as to who would win in a fight between steven seagal and Jean-Claude van damme. Help please? Fightfan, London BrIdge-lIfTer (Txts, Wed): opening Tower Bridge is impressive, but I got invited to george lucass ranch and got to see the original Indiana Jones whip!Jedi Knight, Harrow BrIdge-lIfTer: I went to Jodrell Bank observatory and bounced a message off the moon with their radio telescope. Moonbouncer, E11 Men, please get your hair cut. Its disgusting. short is neat and clean!! Joyce, Essex lIngo (Txts, Wed): you want to learn a new language? youll have to pick a different one. spanish, french, german and Italian arent new, been around for years! Danf, BR7 TIMe swine flu had a Pr image shake-up. renaming it swizzy may help. Whos with me? James, Croydon found out girlfriend is saying nasty things about me to her mate on facebook. suggestions? Hurt, TW13 lITTlelIon (Txts, Tues): eat a teaspoon of peanut butter to cure hiccups -- strangely this works every time. Cured. Gena, E4 BelIever (Txts, Wed): also got picked by turban guy in leadenhall street for fortune reading last year. Claimed I had lucky forehead and october would be a good month. Worst ever! Nonbeliever, N21 Can anything stop fights at closing time? THE fat-busting Scala Bio-Fir Anti-Cellulite pants are a great idea. But why use a model, pictured, who has no cellulite or any need for the product? Sarah, London I HopE they dont catch on -- its cheating. Men could have a shock when the pants come off! Ellis, Wimbledon THESE lazy knickers are for lazy people. They encourage women to do no exercise and eat like a pig. Tina, Streatham IvE bought similar products in the past. The top rolled down and the bottom rolled up. There may be no cellulite but its really not a flattering look to have. Becci, London WE MEn need to get something similar for our beer bellies! Aneirin, London THAnK goodness nigella lawsons womanly curves top the list of figures women would most like to have themselves. no matter what shape a woman is, if shes confident in herself, it can make her look a lot better. Amelia, London THe BBC says it may delay The Apprentice for a general election because of sir Alan sugar joining the government. Its ridiculous. get in another business figure without the baggage now. Tim, Ham Another thing AreFrenchoverreactingtopig flu?IsAshesmumrighttoslamWags? Willyoujointhemagicpantsrush? Getitoff your txtYour mobile moans To be considered for publication, texts must be submitted with name and address or postcode. Please restrict messages to 25 WORDS. Thanks. >>Text TELLUS to 65800 followed by a space and your messageeach text costs 25p plus standard network charges >>Text LL TELLUS to 65400 Terms apply. See W ITH eight areas across London now officially police yobspots requir- ing officers to deal with trouble and violence at closing time, the solution is simple. Get picked up fighting when drunk and youre not allowed into a public bar until further notice. Break that ban and you go to jail. Nothing less will do. Harvey, Elstree POLICE do not need a lower tier of marshals to do their dirty work with drunks at closing time, as suggested by Home Secretary Alan Johnson. You cant cure a cancer by changing the sticking plaster. You have to cut it out and clean the wound. We need similar action here to save our cities. Judith C, London If BArS and clubs shut at midnight instead of staying open until 3am, people would have fewer drinks and we wouldnt have as many drunk people on the streets. Its really very simple. Ayyaz, London ALCOHOL should be classified as the dan- gerous drug i t i s . I t causes huge damage but is somehow immune from the classification awarded other substances. Kev, London INCrEASE the price of drink after 9pm in pubs and clubs. Treble the cost and youd soon see a reduction in street trouble. Albert, London ANYONE who gets drunk and needs medical attention should pay for it. The cost of late-night fighting is too much for the NHS -- a n d l aw - abiding majority -- to bear. Bryan, Balham WE SHOuLd raise the drinking age to 21, as in America. People shouldnt drink until they are mature enough to accept the con- sequences of their actions. Taz, RM011 Textpoll Q: Should exam watchdog be totally independent? OurlastresultAre employers responsible for spread of swine flu at work? YES 26% NO 74%*Texts charged at 50p plus your standard network rate. Terms and conditions apply. See Text LL POLL YES or LL POLL NO followed by your first name and postcode to 65400or at Yobsmust be barred for good Late-night law: police detain a drunk troublemaker on holiday? Dont miss a single edition! 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