TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service STEPHEN MARR BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five London Lite Tuesday, 21 July 2009 21 Being John Malkovich Film4, 11.15pm (1999) EVERY so often a film comes along that shows true inventiveness and originality. This is one of them. The dependably brilliant John Cusack plays a puppeteer who discovers the ultimate in manipulation. Also stars a very frumpy- looking Cameron Diaz, above with Cusack, Catherine Keener and -- of course -- John Malkovich himself. Wedding Crashers Film4, 9pm (2005) YOU know what weddings are like -- the romantic surroundings always make single guests more susceptible. Womanisers John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey love to take full advantage of that atmosphere, sneaking into strangers weddings and turning on the charm. Problems start, however, when Jeremy falls in love. Stars Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, above. TheFastandTheFurious:Tokyo Drift ITV2, 9pm (2006) BY THE time youve finished reading the overlong title of this film, you probably wont have the energy left to watch it. Thankfully, the following two hours dont demand a lot of concentration. Once again, a guy in trouble with the law ends up driving hot cars around the streets of a city, this time Tokyo. Stars Lucas Black and Bow Wow, above. Intolerable Cruelty ITV2, 11.05pm (2003) KNOWN for their quirky stories, you get the feeling that the Coen brothers came up with this slick and straightforward plot to raise the cash to put in a new pool. And why not? They deserve it. George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones, above, star in a flawed but enjoyable farce about a woman who plans to seduce a top divorce lawyer and then take him for everything hes worth. 10.30 No Place Like Home? (S). 11.25 ITV News Headlines. 11.30 60 Minute Makeover (R,S). 12.30 Loose Women (S). 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 London News And Weather (S). 2.00 Dickinsons Real Deal (R,S). From Stroud, Gloucestershire. 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge (S). 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Heartbeat (R,S). Steve Cranes wayward mother Babs arrives in Aidensfield, having fallen out with her boyfriend, and causes all manner of chaos when she puts her self-defence skills into practice. 5.00 The Fuse (S). 7.00 Emmerdale (S). Mark is horrified when he learns that Faye has moved into Tennants House. The Dingles steal a flock of sheep from Butlers Farm. 7.30 Youve Been Framed! (R,S). 17/18. Harry Hill narrates another selection of home-video howlers, featuring a fishy workout, a dog with a penchant for fireworks and a monkey with bad timing. 8.00 Send In The Dogs (S). 1/8. New series. The work of the Metropolitan Police Dog Support Unit, filmed in real operations, beginning as cocker spaniel Diesel, who can find drugs, cash or guns, helps his handler PC Adele Gibson and the Territorial Support Group raid a suspected drug den, while Paddy the English spaniel takes to the water with his companion PC John Lane. 9.00 Car Crime UK (S). 1/6. New series. Trevor McDonald presents an insight into specialist police car crime teams operating across the UK, focusing in the first episode on criminals breaking into houses to steal keys to expensive vehicles. Police in Devon and Cornwall tackle the problem of drug dealers who use stolen cars to transport their goods. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather (S). 10.30 London News And Weather (S). 10.35 Raiders Of The Lost Archive (R,S). 1/3. Three-part series unearthing moments from TV shows previously thought to have been lost. Paddy McGuinness presents the results of a 12-month search through the industrys archives. 11.05 Supernatural (S). 17/22. Sam and Dean believe a werewolf may be responsible for a series of killings. Fantasy drama, starring Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles. 12.00 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Action Stations (R,S). The work of fighter pilots and ground troops in Afghanistan. 12.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency (R,S); ITV News Headlines. 1.45 Loose Women (R). 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 3.25 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Morning News (S). 10.35 Serious Ocean (R,S). 11.05 The Flintstones (R,S). 11.30 Castle In The Country (R,S). 12.00 Open Gardens (R,S). 12.30 Working Lunch (S). 1.00 Car Booty (R,S). 1.30 Film: Son Of Paleface (S) (1952). A city slicker travels to the Wild West to collect an inheritance left by his gunslinger father. Western comedy, starring Bob Hope and Jane Russell. 3.00 Murder, She Wrote (R,S). Foul play strikes at a radio station. 3.45 Flog It! (R,S). From Harlow. 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S). 5.15 Escape To The Country (S). 7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? (R,S,HD). 1/6. Presenter Davina McCall traces her French and English ancestry, and investigates whether one side of her family is descended illegitimately from royalty. The child of divorced parents, she heads to Paris in the hope of discovering more about her maternal heritage, then returns to England to explore a possible link with George IV. 8.00 Coast (S,HD). 2/8. The team explores the Normandy shoreline, where Neil Oliver visits the remains of a fortress at Cap Gris Nez built for King Henry VIII as a toehold on French soil. Plus, Miranda Krestovnikoff discovers how bats have set up home in abandoned Second World War bunkers. 9.00 Desperate Romantics (S,HD). 1/6. New series. Drama about the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood -- three rebellious and charismatic young artists who intend to reform the world of art. Fred has fallen in love with model Lizzie, but finds he cannot compete with Dantes charms. Starring Aidan Turner, Rafe Spall, Samuel Barnett and Sam Crane. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast (S). 1/6. New series. Julia Bradbury follows in guidebook writer Alfred Wainwrights footsteps and walks across northern England, beginning at St Bees Head on the coast of Cumbria. 10.30 Newsnight (S). With Kirsty Wark. Followed by Weather. 11.20 The Wire (S). 1/13. New series. The mayoral race heats up as Royce and Carcetti hit the campaign trail, Prez prepares for his new career, and McNulty turns down a promotion. Continues tomorrow. 12.20 On Thin Ice (R,S). James Cracknell, Ed Coats and Ben Fogle embark on the South Pole Race after months of preparation, but they have doubts about their success as the weather takes its toll. 1.20 BBC News (S). 3.50 Close. 11.00 Desperate Housewives (R,S,HD). 12.00 News At Noon (S). 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: If Not School, Then What? (R,S). 12.40 Life Begins Again (R,S). 1.40 Film: Rage At Dawn (S) (1955). Western, starring Randolph Scott and Forrest Tucker. 3.25 Countdown (S). With Anton du Beke in Dictionary Corner. 4.15 Deal Or No Deal: Seaside Specials (S). Summer-themed edition of the game show. 5.00 Wogans Perfect Recall (S). 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S,HD). Blue singer Lee Ryan hosts a star-studded dinner party. 7.00 News (S). 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate (S). 6/16. The documentary series examining life on north Glasgows Sighthill Estate continues, presenting a portrait of the locals who frequent the Caledonian Bar. 8.00 Property Snakes And Ladders (S). 7/11. In Bristol, the Claytons face a nine-month delay in the renovation of a Grade Two listed house, while in Faversham, Kent, work on the Hillards oast house has also turned into a complete disaster. Sarah Beeny is on hand to save the fortunes of the would-be developers, who are certain to make a loss on their projects without her help. 9.00 Big Brother (S). Fly-on-the-wall highlights of the latest goings-on, including the latest round of nominations. If Halfwit and Noirin receive the most votes, the new housemates have successfully completed their secret mission -- if not, Bea, David, Hira, Kenneth and Tom are the ones who face eviction. 10.00 You Have Been Watching (S). 3/8. TV critic Charlie Brooker invites a panel of guests to take part in the comedy quiz examining the highs and lows of the weeks programmes. 10.50 The Inbetweeners (S). 4/6. Will tries to reinvent the boys image by taking them clubbing around London, but his efforts to make the friends appear cool are hampered by aggressive bouncers and tramps. 11.25 Rude Tube (R,S). 5/7. The self- styled Pimpmasta General. 11.55 World Series Of Poker Europe (R,S). The richest poker tournament in Europe continues, with the final 24 players aiming to boost their chances of winning the lions share of the 3.5million prize. 12.55 Big Brother Live. 4.00 World Sport (R,S). 4.25 British GT Championship (R,S). 4.50 Triathlon (R,S). 5.45 The Hoobs (R,S). 10.45 Trisha Goddard (R,S). 11.45 House Doctor (R,S). 12.15 House Doctor (R,S). 12.45 Five News (S). 12.55 Wordplay (S). 1.45 Neighbours (S). Paul is arrested. 2.15 Home And Away (S). 2.50 Wordplay Plus (S). Viewers take part in the daily quiz show. 3.10 The Family Recipe (R,S). With Jean-Christophe Novelli. 3.15 Film: Surrender, Dorothy (S) (2006). A grieving mother discovers she did not really know her late daughter as well as she thought. Drama, with Diane Keaton. 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky (S). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S). 7.00 Five News At 7 (S). 7.30 Vets In Action (R,S). A senior vet comes to the aid of an ageing farmer, and one of his colleagues treats a cow suffering from a twisted stomach. Documentary series, narrated by Kym Marsh. Followed by Five News Update. 8.00 Monster Moves (S). Retired surgeon Jack Sternlieb invested 7m in his luxury yacht the Star Sapphire and sailed it around the Mediterranean coast. Now he has decided to return home to Florida, giving the crew of semi-submersible carrier the Yacht Express the task of moving it across the Atlantic. Followed by Five News At 9. 9.00 CSI: Miami (S). 4/25. Horatio and the team head for the Everglades, where two men appear to have been murdered in a manner consistent with a Russian mob hit. Tripp links the deaths to an extreme fight club, but further investigation reveals the pair may have been killed to help the crime cartel increase its stranglehold on the beachfront property market. 10.00 CSI: NY (R,S). Evidence found at a murder scene links the victim to a number of high-profile figures, including police chief Brigham Sinclair. The detectives learn the killer stole a data stick, but find their inquiries hindered by a private investigator trying to suppress sensitive information about his employer. Gary Sinise stars. Followed by Five News Update. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (R,S). 4/23. Nick (George Eads) and Sara investigate the possible suicide of a college student, while Grissom and Catherine have their hands full with the case of a drowned woman. 12.00 Most Evil (R,S). Couples who commit murder together. 1.00 US Tour Golf. 1.55 European Challenge Tour Golf. Highlights. 2.20 Seniors Golf. 3.10 UEFA Cup Classics (R). 5.10 Neighbours (R,S). 5.35 Home And Away (R,S). 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 6.00 Eggheads (R,S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds (S). 4/10. Celebrity chefs Gary Rhodes and Brian Turner take on the challenge at an antiques centre in Hungerford and an auction in London. Tim Wonnacott presents. 6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 11/22. Marge stimulates the childrens interest in history by relating three extraordinary tales. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Lauren is unsure about consummating her relationship with Wade, and Archie squanders money in the pub. 6.00 Home And Away (R,S). Jai and Xavier make a dangerous mistake while playing around with the guns. 6.30 Rough Guide To Best Beach Holidays (R,S). 7/15. In South Africa, Toby Amies visits the Elephant Coasts Thonga Bay, where he indulges in a spot of whale watching. FROM 25 DEAL? ptical Group. All rights reserved. .uk or freephone 0800 0680 241 index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html24.html25.html26.html27.html28.html29.html30.html31.html32.html33.html34.html35.html