TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service STEPHEN MARR BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five London Lite Thursday, 16 July 2009 27 The Fifth Element Film4, 11.05pm (1997) A DOWN-on-his-luck cab driver gets himself involved in the search for an intergalactic secret weapon that threatens to bring about the end of the world. Luc Bessons wild vision of the shape of things to come -- styled by Jean Paul Gaultier -- stars Bruce Willis and Gary Oldman, plus Milla Jovovich, above with co-stars Charlie Creed Miles and Sir Ian Holm. Great fun. Behind Enemy Lines Film4, 9pm (2001) NOT very believable, Im afraid. Owen Wilson, above, who is far better suited to comedy, is a navy aviator who must avoid capture after being shot down. The pursuing baddies are almost caricatures, while Gene Hackman -- as Wilsons commanding officer -- is the typical (but mythical) military man who ignores direct orders in a bid to save his boy. Rambo III ITV4, 10.05pm (1987) THAT annoying Colonel Trautman has gone and got himself kidnapped in Afghanistan, and its up to John J Rambo to rescue him. Rambo uses a range of lethal weapons to off his enemies and save his friend. The least Trautman could do is buy his buddy a shirt as a thank you gift. Stars Richard Crenna and Sylvester Stallone, above. Gone In 60 Seconds ITV2, 10.30pm (2000) ANGELINA JOLIE and Nicolas Cage, above, star in this OTT action film about the charming subject of grand theft auto. A car thief has to come out of retirement and steal 50 vehicles to save his brothers life. Knowing that he cant do it all by himself, he enlists the help of his former cronies. The film was panned by the critics, and some claim that it marked the death of Cages career as a credible actor. 10.30 This Morning (S). Behind the scenes of a new ITV production of Wuthering Heights. 12.30 Loose Women (S). With stand-up comedian Janeane Garofalo. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 London News And Weather (S). 2.00 Dickinsons Real Deal (R,S). From Todmorden, West Yorkshire. 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge (S). Boyzones Shane Lynch judges the dishes. 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Midsomer Murders (R,S). Part one of two. A villager is battered to death. 5.00 The Fuse (S). Game show, hosted by Austin Healey. 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale (S). Bob and Viv are brought closer together, Debbie agrees to let Andy see Sarah, and Jimmy struggles to contain his enthusiasm for Nicolas pregnancy. 7.30 Countrywise (S). 17/36. The team heads to Dover, where Paul Heiney marks the centenary of the first cross-channel flight and Bettany Hughes explores the secret tunnels of the White Cliffs. 8.00 The Bill (S,HD). Devlin puts pressure on the prosecutions star witness, who refuses to give evidence, so Smithy is forced to take the stand and face scrutiny over his behaviour during the Westgate Estate riot. Heaton announces his departure to set up a new unit, taking Stuart, Kezia and Rachel with him, and causing a few surprise promotions. Cat Simmons stars. 9.00 Living With Michael Jackson: A Tonight Special (S). Another chance to see Martin Bashirs 2003 interview with the pop star who died on June 25, in which he showed the reporter around Neverland. Bashir also accompanied Jackson on his tour of Germany, and the singer was interviewed in the Berlin hotel room where he dangled his baby son over the balcony. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 News At Ten And Weather (S). 10.30 London News And Weather (S). 10.35 Mission To The Moon -- News From 1969 (S). 2/5. Apollo 11 lifts off and begins its journey. 10.45 Cops With Cameras (R,S). 2/4. Police in Wales carry out a dawn raid that ends with a drug dealer being apprehended. 11.45 The Late Debate. Alastair Stewart questions Tessa Jowell about the preparations for the 2012 Olympics and her new role as Minister for London. 12.15 British Superbike Championship Highlights. Round six from Knockhill. 1.05 Motorsport UK (S). From Oulton Park. 1.55 Supernatural (R,S). Sam and Dean investigate violent events at a college; ITV News Headlines. 2.40 Loose Women (R). 3.25 ITV Nightscreen. Guide to ITV. 5.30 ITV Morning News (S). Cat Simmons 8pm, The Bill 9.00 Live Golf: The Open Championship (S). Gary Lineker and Hazel Irvine introduce a marathon day of coverage from the Ailsa Course at Turnberry in South Ayrshire, as the players begin their quests to win one of the most prestigious prizes in the sport, the Claret Jug. This is the first time Turnberry has held this illustrious Major since 1994, when Nick Price was crowned champion, and is the fourth time in total, having also been responsible for the 1977 and 1986 tournaments. The commentary team is headed by Peter Alliss. 6.00 Live golf continues. 8.00 Rick Steins Far Eastern Odyssey (S). 1/6. New series. The chef explores the Far Easts most diverse food cultures. He begins in Cambodia, where tourists are beginning to return after the fall of the Khmer Rouge regime. As well as discovering the joys of freshly caught swimmer crabs with green peppercorns, he learns how to cook fish amok. See Ben Felsenburg 9.00 Mock The Week (S). 2/13. Dara OBriain hosts the topical comedy quiz, with guests Rhod Gilbert and Tom Stade joining regular panellists Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons to offer their opinions on world events. 9.30 That Mitchell And Webb Look (S,HD). 6/6. An evil robot causes problems. Robert Webb and David Mitchell star. Last in the series. 10.00 Psychoville (S,HD). 5/7. Joys dreams seemingly become a reality when she is left alone with Freddy and strange things start to happen. David receives advice from an unlikely source as he and Maureen lure their next victim to a wax museum, and the auction for Snappy the Crocodile continues. 10.30 Newsnight (S). With Gavin Esler. Followed by Weather. 11.20 The Death Of Respect (S). 1/2. John Ware examines the apparent lack of respect in Britain today, from the rise in family break- ups to public drunkenness, violence, and bad language on TV. Arguing that more significance should be placed on the institution of the family and the nations traditional values, he hears from academics whose work proves that society is fragmenting. 12.20 BBC News (S). 4.05 Close. Robert Webb 9.30pm, That Mitchell And Webb Look 11.00 Desperate Housewives (R,S,HD). 12.00 News At Noon (S). 12.30 Life Begins Again (R,S). A London couple take over a Cornish herb farm. 1.25 Film: Victim (S) (1961). A gay barrister risks his reputation to expose the blackmailers who drove his lover to suicide. Drama, starring Dirk Bogarde and Sylvia Syms. 3.25 Countdown (S). With Ian Hyland. 4.15 Deal Or No Deal (S). 5.00 Wogans Perfect Recall (S). 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S,HD). Publican Bob Calder hosts the final dinner party in Aberdeen. 6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 8/22. Marge tries to halt a campaign against children. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Despite going out of his way to make Cindy jealous, Darren is taken aback when she reveals her plans to marry Tony. Elliot hatches a scheme. 7.00 News (S). 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate (S). 4/16. A typical day in the life of the declining community at the Sighthill Estate in north Glasgow. 8.00 The Home Show (S). 9/11. Architect George Clarke helps a family of hoarders from Harrow in desperate need of more space, with the eldest son sleeping in a room that is not big enough for a door or wardrobe. George is challenged to solve the problem without extending the house, and the transformation becomes more stressful when a mistake puts the budget in jeopardy. 9.00 Gerrys Big Decision (S). 3/3. A hotel chain is on the brink of collapse after being affected by a father and sons business decisions, while a chain of department stores is losing money and faces the possibility of closing down. Both companies try to persuade entrepreneur Gerry Robinson that they are capable of turning their fortunes around. Last in the series. 10.00 Big Brother (S). Highlights from the past 24 hours as Nikki Grahame and Brian Belo return to the house to take part in a memorable task from their year. 11.10 TNT Show (S). 6/12. Topical entertainment show, with Jack Whitehall and Holly Walsh. 11.40 Derren Brown: Trick Or Treat (R,S). 6/6. A woman has an out-of- body experience. Last in the series. 12.10 You Have Been Watching (R,S). Comedy quiz show, hosted by Charlie Brooker. 1.00 Big Brother Live. More from the house. 4.00 Bob And Margaret (R,S). The pair go shopping. 4.25 Dispatches: The Children Britain Betrayed (R,S). 5.20 Countdown (R,S). Gerry Robinson 9pm, Gerrys Big Decision 10.45 Trisha Goddard (R,S). 11.45 House Doctor (R,S). 12.15 House Doctor (R,S). 12.45 Five News (S). 12.55 Wordplay (S). 1.45 Neighbours (S). Miranda is tempted by her old flame. 2.15 Home And Away (S). Geoff throws Claudia out. 2.50 Wordplay Plus (S). Viewers take part in the daily quiz show. 3.00 Film: Execution Of Justice (S) (1999). Fact- based drama exploring events following the murder in 1978 of San Franciscos mayor and a city supervisor. With Peter Coyote and Tyne Daly. 5.00 Five News (S). 5.30 Neighbours (R,S). 6.00 Home And Away (R,S). Geoff throws Claudia out of the house. 6.30 Rough Guide To The Great Outdoors (R,S). 3/15. Julia Bradbury visits Utahs canyons and cliffs by mountain bike and horseback. Meanwhile, Toby Amies tours the Norwegian fjords by helicopter. 7.00 Five News At 7 (S). 7.15 Cricket On Five (S). England v Australia. Action from the opening day of the Second Test of the Ashes, as the teams continued their five- match series at Lords. England seemed destined for defeat in the First Test in Cardiff until a rearguard battle on the final day by Paul Collingwood secured a draw. Followed by Five News Update. 8.00 Britains Nazi King -- Revealed (S). Remembered as the king who gave up the throne for the love of Wallis Simpson, Edward VIIIs lifestyle left him open to suspicion from the British government during the Second World War. This documentary investigates efforts to stop Edward acting on his apparent pro-German views. Followed by Five News At 9. 9.00 The Mentalist (S). 17/23. A team of holidaying financiers receives a note foretelling a murder, and when one of their number falls to his death during a skydiving incident, the CBI is asked to investigate. Even though all the evidence seems to label a much- maligned former employee as the killer, Patrick remains unconvinced. Simon Baker stars. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit (R,S). 21/25. A woman is discovered in a bathroom next to the battered corpse of her boyfriends brother, and immediately becomes the prime suspect in his murder. However, the discovery she is a pre-op transsexual leaves the team with new questions to consider. Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay star. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent (R,S). 17/23. A woman is murdered during an emergency phone call to the operator, and the team focuses its investigation on an apparently perfect parolee who seems too good to be true. 12.00 Quiz Call. Interactive game show. 4.00 NFL Classic (R). Action from a memorable American football encounter. 4.45 Wildlife SOS (R,S). The work of an animal sanctuary. 5.10 Neighbours (R,S). 5.35 Home And Away (R,S). Mariska Hargitay 10pm, Law And Order: Special... index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html24.html25.html26.html27.html28.html29.html30.html31.html32.html33.html34.html35.html36.html37.html38.html39.html40.html41.html42.html43.html