TELEVISION Filmchoice FILM RATINGS excellent very good good average poor KEY (R)repeat (S)subtitles on text service STEPHEN MARR BBC2 ITV1 Channel 4 Five London Lite Wednesday, 15 July 2009 21 10.30 This Morning (S). 12.30 Loose Women (S). With Gloria Hunniford and Simple Minds. 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S). 1.55 London News And Weather (S). 2.00 Dickinsons Real Deal (R,S). 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge (S). Comedian Danny Wallace is the judge. 3.59 London Weather (S). 4.00 Midsomer Murders (R,S). Part two of two. Joyce puts Barnaby on a diet, distracting him by filling his mind with constant thoughts of food as he strives to solve two murders in the village of Martyr Warren. 5.00 The Fuse (S). Game show. 6.00 London Tonight (S); Weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News (S); Weather. 7.00 Emmerdale (S). Viv struggles to settle back into village life and becomes convinced that Bob has been unfaithful. Meanwhile, Debbie turns down Michaels offer of a date. 7.30 Coronation Street (S). Claire tells Ashley not to bother coming home after a row. Fiz learns her and Johns wedding plans are the talk of the prison, and Jack fears Connie is hiding something. See Soap Box 8.00 The Bill (S,HD). Part five of six. Tensions mount between Callum and Smithy as the Sun Hill officers undergo training, and the two sergeants come to blows. A witness confirms the details of Devlins beating, and Smithy finds his career is on the line. Heaton tells Rachel he needs a good result on the case as he is leaving Sun Hill to set up a unit to tackle human trafficking. 9.00 Real 999 Calls (S). Trevor McDonald presents a special edition of Tonight featuring people whose lives have been changed by the work of the emergency services. Victims recounting their experiences include a mother whose son saved her life by dialling 999 and two builders who were rescued after being trapped in a sewer. Includes recordings of 999 phone calls. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather (S). 10.30 London News And Weather (S). 10.35 Mission To The Moon -- News From 1969 (S). 1/5. New series. Marking the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission. 10.45 Total Emergency (R,S). 2/6. Paramedics are called to help an injured motorcyclist. 11.45 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Action Stations (S). The work of fighter pilots and ground troops on duty in Afghanistan, plus insights into Air Sea Rescue and the Red Arrows aerobatic team. 12.45 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime (R). Documentary following the work of police officers; ITV News Headlines. 1.35 Loose Women (R). With Gloria Hunniford. 2.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (R,S). 3.20 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Morning News (S). Trevor McDonald 9pm, Real 999 Calls 11.00 Alien Empire (R,S). 11.30 Daily Politics (S). 1.00 Castle In The Country (R,S). 1.30 Working Lunch (S). 2.00 Animal Park (S). The ibis nests in the aviary. 2.30 Car Booty (R,S). A woman raises 200 for belly dancing lessons. 3.00 Murder, She Wrote (R,S). Jessica comes to the aid of a friends niece. 3.45 Flog It! (R,S). Valuing family treasures in Lancaster. 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (R,S). Lorne Spicer and Mark Franks compete against each other. 5.15 Escape To The Country (S). Rural retreats in Oxfordshire. 6.00 Eggheads (R,S). Quiz show, hosted by Dermot Murnaghan. 6.30 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds (S). 1/10. Boxing legend Henry Cooper and champion shot putter Geoff Capes search for bargains in Chelsea, with help from experts James Lewis and James Braxton. 7.00 The Culture Show (S). 2/8. Miranda Sawyer presents from Manchester International Festival. Rufus Wainwright discusses his first opera Prima Donna, and violinist Alina Ibragimova performs. 7.50 Dean -- The Diving Decorator (R,S). The story of a painter and decorator with a passion for the natural world, uncovering aquatic wildlife and behavioural patterns. 8.00 Home For Life (S). 1/3. New series. Designers Jamie Anley and Phil Nutley encourage property owners around the UK to inject individuality into their homes. Their mission begins with a family in Epping, Essex, who have let children, and another in Little Aston, Staffordshire, who want to update the decor on their new million- pound house. See Ben Felsenburg 9.00 Dragons Den (S). 1/8. New series. The panel of Theo Paphitis, James Caan, Deborah Meaden, Peter Jones and Duncan Bannatyne returns, offering entrepreneurs hope of cash investments. Business pitches include personalised romantic novels, a scary attraction, patio heaters and a device to end nuisance phone calls. Evan Davis presents. See Ben Felsenburg 10.00 Taking The Flak (S). 2/7. A battle ensues when American reporters descend on war-torn Karibu. Flanked by her crew, news legend Candida Coulter faces rival David Bradburn in the fight for supremacy, but bribery, exploding pineapples and power cuts hinder both factions. Ruby Wax guest stars. 10.30 Newsnight (S). Presented by Gavin Esler. Followed by Weather. 11.20 Golf: The Open Championship (S). Gary Lineker presents a look ahead to the 138th staging of the worlds oldest Major, which gets under way tomorrow on the Ailsa Course at Turnberry in South Ayrshire. Padraig Harrington will be bidding to become the first player to lift the Claret Jug three years in succession since 1956. 11.50 BBC News (S). 4.45 Close. Ruby Wax 10pm, Taking The Flak 11.00 Desperate Housewives (R,S,HD). 12.00 News At Noon (S). 12.30 Life Begins Again (R,S). 1.30 Film: Doctor At Large (S) (1957). Newly qualified doctor Simon Sparrow goes in search of a job, but runs into his old mentor. Comedy, with Dirk Bogarde and James Robertson Justice. 3.25 Countdown (S). With Ian Hyland. 4.15 Deal Or No Deal (S). 5.00 Wogans Perfect Recall (S). Four contestants compete for a cash prize. 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (S,HD). A care worker undertakes the dinner party challenge in Aberdeen. 6.00 The Simpsons (R,S). 7/22. Homer resolves to turn over a new leaf and become a do-gooder. 6.30 Hollyoaks (S,HD). Daniel and Abi keep an eye on Ste, threatened by his plan to take Lucas to live with Mike. Tony worries about Cindys motives and Dom is heartbroken. 7.00 News (S). 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate (S). 3/16. Profile of the Sighthill Estate in north Glasgow -- a site being prepared for demolition, with a community fast disintegrating. 8.00 Embarrassing Teenage Bodies (S). 2/4. How doctors helped young people when they took their mobile clinic to a music festival, where they met a girl distraught about her excess skin, four brothers who still wet the bed and a teenager being bullied because of her eczema. They also addressed youths who were damaging their hearing. 9.00 Big Brother (S). The show continues to celebrate its 10th anniversary with the return of housemates from series four, five and six, who take part in the infamous box task. 10.00 Ugly Betty (S,HD). 4/24. Gio returns and Betty tries to make amends, but he refuses to forgive her, and Daniel has to deal with shocking family news. Hilda is forced to make a difficult decision about her relationship with Coach Diaz. America Ferrera stars. 11.00 Skins (S,HD). 3/10. Pandora and Effy befriend an African teenager who has recently arrived in the UK and is trying to find a way to earn money. Maureen Lipman and David Baddiel guest star. 12.00 4Music: Florence And The Machine: Live At Rivoli Ballroom (S). 12.35 Dirty Sexy Money (R,S,HD). 1.25 Big Brother Live. More from the house. 4.00 Bob And Margaret (R,S). 4.25 Revelations: Commando Chaplains (R,S,HD). 5.25 Countdown (R,S). America Ferrera 10pm, Ugly Betty 10.45 Trisha Goddard (R,S). 11.45 House Doctor (R,S). 12.15 House Doctor (R,S). 12.45 Five News (S). 12.55 Wordplay (S). 1.45 Neighbours (S). Paul finds out about his grandmothers will. 2.15 Home And Away (S). Claudia delivers shocking news to Geoff. 2.50 Wordplay Plus (S). 3.05 Film: Columbo: Uneasy Lies The Crown (S) (1990). A dentist discovers his wife and father-in-law have been plotting against him, and resorts to murder. Crime drama, starring Peter Falk. 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky. 5.30 Neighbours (R,S). 6.00 Home And Away (R,S). Claudia delivers shocking news to Geoff. 6.30 Rough Guide To Classic Road Trips (R,S). 13/15. Julia Bradbury visits Florida to spend two days driving from Miami to Key West, while Toby Amies hires a Porsche 911 to explore Bavaria in Germany. 7.00 Five News At 7 (S). 7.15 Hidden Ashes 05 (S). Mark Nicholas presents a look back at the 2005 Ashes, focusing on the concluding part in the last two Test matches at Trent Bridge and the Oval. Some of the players involved give their views on an incredible series and previously unseen footage offers a reminder of a summer of unforgettable cricket. 8.00 Build A New Life In The Country (S). Charlie Luxton meets a couple who plan to convert a 19th- century barn into a family home but are facing financing problems. The idea to raise extra money by selling the barns annex fails when two sets of buyers pull out, and an attempt to auction it fails to realise the minimum amount they need to finish. Followed by Five News At 9. 9.00 The Patriot (S) (2000). A retired soldier takes up arms once more to avenge the murder of his son by the British during the American War Of Independence -- and finds himself up against a sadistic officer wreaking havoc. Roland Emmerichs action adventure, starring Mel Gibson, Jason Isaacs, Heath Ledger and Joely Richardson. See Film Choice 12.10 Poker. Action from the European Open V, where Liam Flood and Annette Obrestad were among the competitors. 1.45 Indy Car Series. The Indy Toronto. Highlights of the 10th round of the season, held on a street circuit in Toronto, Canada. 2.35 Cricket On Five (R). England v Australia. Mark Nicholas presents highlights from First Test of the Ashes at the SWALEC Stadium in Cardiff. Commentary and analysis by Geoffrey Boycott, Ian Chappell, Matthew Hayden and Simon Hughes. 5.10 Neighbours (R,S). 5.35 Home And Away (R,S). Charlie Luxton 8pm, Build A New Life In The Country Talladega Nights Five USA, 10pm (2006) WILL FERRELL and John C Reilly are Ricky Bobby and Cal Naughton Jnr -- childhood friends and racing drivers. A pact between Ricky and Cal keeps Ricky at the top of the racing tree, until French Formula One driver Jean Girard threatens their winning streak and their friendship. Sacha Baron Cohen, above with Ferrell, and his crazy French accent steal every scene. A Fish Called Wanda BBC1, 10.45pm (1988) MONTY PYTHONS Graham Chapman once said that he walked into the lead roles for Python films because the other guys wanted to play all the insane bit parts. The same could be said here. John Cleese and Jamie Lee Curtis play the relatively straight leads, while Kevin Kline and Michael Palin, above, are hilarious as psycho Otto and animal-loving Ken. Starsky & Hutch BBC3, 9pm (2004) THE TV series was trying to be serious but ended up being unintentionally funny. This feature-length version intended to be funny but sadly misses its mark. Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller, above, can usually carry any script but their chemistry deserts them here. Despite a strong comedy cast, its left up to Snoop Dogg to provide the laughs as Huggy Bear. The Patriot Five, 9pm (2000) BENJAMIN MARTIN is just a peaceful farmer -- a good old boy, if you will -- who is driven to kill people in the War of Independence when a British officer murders his son. Mel Gibson, above with co-star Heath Ledger, continues his merry rewrite of history, including myriad factual errors regarding battles and related incidents, personnel, uniforms and equipment, etcetera. index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html24.html25.html26.html27.html28.html29.html30.html31.html32.html33.html34.html35.html36.html37.html38.html39.html40.html41.html42.html43.html