COMEDY COMEDY STORE Oxendon Street, SW1 (0207 930 2967/2949). Tube: Piccadilly Circus The Best In Stand Up. Acts include Craig Campbell, Carey Marx, Ian Coppinger and Jeff Green. Tonight 8pm, Sat 8pm & midnight, 18, Sat 16 & 18 The Comedy Store Players. Improvised comedy from Josie Lawrence, Neil Mullarkey, Andy Smart, Lee Simpson, Richard Vranch, Ian Coppinger and Niall Ashdown. Sun 8pm, 15 ETCETERA THEATRE Camden High Street, NW1 (020 7482 4857). Tube: Camden Town Colin Hoults Carnival Of Monsters. Hoults comic experiment. Sun 8.30pm, 6.50 Miles Jupp: Telling It Like It Might Be. The TV and radio regular presents angry ramblings and controlled rants on fatherhood, the service industry and the problem of democracy. Sat 9.30pm, 7.50, concs 5.50 Life Of Si. Stand-up, sketches and slapstick from Simon Feilder and Sy Thomas, commenting on late-20- year-old life. Sun 6.30pm, 5 Marcel Lucont: Sexual Metro. Comedy from the French misanthropist. Fri 9.30pm, 6.50 The Penny Dreadfuls: The Never Man. The comedy troupe present their latest sketch show, a comedy-thriller set on a mysterious theme park island. Sat 8pm, 7.50, concs 5.50 HEN AND CHICKENS St Pauls Road, N1 (020 7704 2001). Tube/Rail: Highbury & Islington Edward Aczel Explains And Then Solves All The Problems In The World. Stand-up from the 2008 Malcolm Hardee Award winner. Tonight & Sat 9.30pm, 7.50 Girl & Deans Tea Room. Sketch comedy show. Tonight 7.30pm, 6.50 Improbubbles Sunday Series. Improvised comedy. Sun 9.30pm, 9 techno and hip hop, with live performances from bands and comedians, including Frodo Freud, Fit And The Conniptions, Milli Moonstone and Vrillion. Whitechapel Road E1 (020 7375 3774). Tube: Whitechapel. Sat 10pm- 6am, 10, w/flyer 8 FORGIVE ME LORD FOR I HAVE SYNTH AT THE GARAGE Blonde Ambition supply electro and techno, plus a live performance from Plastic Hearts. Highbury Corner N5 (0870 060 3777). Tonight 10.30pm-late, 6, adv/w/flyer 5 REDLIGHT AT CLUB AQUARIUM DJs play electro, techno, house and minimal. Old Street EC1 (020 7251 6136). Tube/Rail: Old Street. Today 4.30am- 11am, 12, w/flyer 8 WISH AT GRAMAPHONE Techno, house and electro with Kate Lawler and Kath Harding in the basement and John Sizzle, Sean Hewson and La Coop upstairs. Commercial Street E1 (020 7377 9337). Tube/Rail: Liverpool Street. Sat 9pm-4am, 10 Others BANGERS & MASH AT PROUD Mr Hudson, Defend Moscow and Andy Kyte play disco, indie, electro and Motown plus Ze! performs live. The Stables Market, Chalk Farm Road NW1 (020 7482 3867). Tube: Camden Town. Tonight 7.30pm- 2.30am, 8, 5 before 9pm BLOW UP AT BAR RUMBA Paul Tunkin, Ian Jackson and guests spin mod, indie, soul, pop, new wave and 1960s beat. Shaftesbury Avenue W1 (020 7287 2715). Tube: Piccadilly Circus. Sat 10pm-4am, 8, NUS 6, 6 before 11.30pm CAFE DE CUBA AT FIESTA HAVANA Resident DJs play Latin grooves and funky vocal house. Fulham Road SW6 (020 7381 5005). Tube: Fulham Broadway. Sat 8pm- 2am, 5, free before 10pm CARWASH AT CLUB AQUARIUM Resident DJs play 1970s and 1980s disco and funk. Old Street EC1 (080 702461966). Tube/Rail: Old Street. Sat 10pm- 3.30am, 15 CIRCUS AT MATTER Siouxsie Sioux, Kissy Sell Out and Frankmusic spin pop, indie and electro. Peninsula Square SE10 (020 7549 6686). Tube: North Greenwich, Rail: Westcombe Park Railway Station. Sat 10pm-7am, NUS 10, adv 8 CLUB DE FROMAGE AT O2 ACADEMY ISLINGTON DJs play classic rock, pop, hip hop and dance. N1 Centre, Parkfield Street N1 (0844 477 2000). Tube: Angel. Sat 10.30pm-late, 6 DECADENCE AT TRASH PALACE DJs Shuff and Belle play glam rock and punk. Wardour Street W1 (020 7437 0525). Tube: Tottenham Court Road. Sat 10pm-4am, 6, w/flyer 5, mems 4 FABRIC AT FABRIC Craig Richards, Radio Slave, Geddes, Ivan Smagghe, Sascha Funke and Efdemin spin hip hop, drum&bass, R&B and funk. Charterhouse Street EC1 (020 7336 8898). Tube/Rail: Farringdon. Sat 11pm-8am, 16, NUS 12 before 4am, 8 before 5am, 5 London Lite Friday, 3 July 2009 25 Hampstead Lane, NW3 (020 8348 1286). Tube: Archway/Golders Green; Rail: Hampstead Heath (1 miles). Sat 7.30pm, 27.50-36 ITUNES LIVE: JACK PENATE, GOLDEN SILVERS London-based indie-pop singer-songwriter. Roundhouse Chalk Farm Road, NW1 (0844 482 8008). Tube: Chalk Farm. Tonight 6pm, free via facebook. com/iTunesEU ITUNES LIVE: SNOW PATROL The anthemic alt rock band play from their album A Hundred Million Suns. Roundhouse Chalk Farm Road, NW1 (0844 482 8008). Tube: Chalk Farm. Sun 6pm, free via www.facebook. com/iTunesEU TAVARES, THE REAL THING, KENNY THOMAS, JUNIOR The American band play R&B and soul. IndigO2 Peninsula Square, SE10 (0871 220 0260). Tube: North Greenwich, Rail: Westcombe Park Railway Station. Sat 7pm, 25-35 UTE LEMPER: ANGELS OVER BERLIN The singer and performer showcases songs by the likes of Kurt Weill, Jacques Brel, Joni Mitchell, as well as works associated with Edith Piaf and herself. Barbican Hall, Barbican Centre, Hall Silk Street, EC2 (0845 120 7500). Tube/Rail: Moorgate. Tonight 8pm, 10-25 WIRELESS 2009: BASEMENT JAXX, KANYE WEST, THE STREETS, DIZZEE RASCAL, NOISETTES Weekend dance and hip hop festival with acts including Basement Jaxx, The Streets, Dizzee Rascal, Paul Oakenfold and Does It Offend You, Yeah? on Saturday; and Kanye West, Noisettes, N-Dubz, Tinchy Stryder and Q-Tip on Sunday. Hyde Park, W2 (020 7298 2000). Tube: Hyde Park Corner. Sat & Sun noon, day ticket 45, weekend ticket 80 CLUBS House & Garage BREAKFAST AT EGG Afterparty with French house and minimal electro. (Early Sun morning). York Way N7 (020 7609 8364). Tube/Rail: Kings Cross. Sun 5am-late, 15, concs 12 GLAM ROC AT THE MINISTRY OF SOUND DJs Masterstepz, Vernon James, Carlton Cole, Crazy Cousinz, Geeneus, Lauren Pope and Kellie Acreman play funky house, R&B and soulful house. Gaunt Street SE1 (0870 060 2666). Tube/Rail: Elephant & Castle. Sun 9.30pm-3.30am, 15, 10 before 11pm SATURDAY SESSIONS PRESENTS SOS AT MINISTRY OF SOUND Electro and house with Franois K in the Box and Smokin Jo, Jesse and Chris Aidy in the Bar. Gaunt Street SE1 (0870 060 2666). Tube/Rail: Elephant & Castle. Sat 11pm-7am, 15, 6 before 4am CHERRY POP AT SOUND DJ Rick Spirez plays pop and club classics in the main room, with funky house from DJ Franky Foncette. Leicester Square WC2 (0870 863 1010). Tube: Piccadilly Circus. Sat 9pm-3am, 20 & 15, 10 before 11pm THEM! AT CORSICA STUDIOS, ROOM 1 & 2 Boxcutter, Jamie Vexd, Breakage, Mumdance and Borgore spin dubstep and electro in room one, with jungle, electro, bassline and garage. Farrell Court SE17 (020 7703 4760). Tube: Elephant & Castle. Tonight 10pm-6am, adv 9 WE LOVE PACHA Alex Jeffcoate, Ellis, Greenie and Seani Beats spin funky, electro and soulful house. Terminus Place SW1 (0845 371 4489). tube/Rail: Victoria. Sat 10pm-5am, 20, adv 15 Trance & Techno THE EUROPEAN CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS PRESENTS EURO X-DAY AT THE RHYTHM FACTORY DJ Alchemist and DJ Tequila spin FEELING GLOOMY AT O2 ACADEMY ISLINGTON The duo spin melancholy hits as well as musical tributes to Morrissey. N1 Centre, Parkfield Street N1 (0844 477 2000). Tube: Angel. Sat 10.30pm-late, 8, 6 before midnight, NUS 5, adv 4 THE GALLERY AT THE MINISTRY OF SOUND Marcus Schossow, Steve Lee, The Viceroy and Ben Gold spin breakbeat in the box, with house from 16 Bit Lolitas, Paul Morrell, Hilton Caswell and Dave Eaves in the bar. Plus trance from Bevan Miller, Richard Sadd, Paul Beard and Sevenbread in the loft and hard dance and electro from Steve Arnold, Solano, Filthy Funk Funk, Mark Walker and Luvstuff Gaunt Street SE1 (0870 060 2666). Tube/Rail: Elephant And Castle. Tonight 10.30pm-6am, adv 13, 6 before 3am GROOVE SANCTUARY AT MADAME JOJOS Afro-Latin, electronica, funk, disco and deep house from DJ Jimbo (Raw Deal), Joey Vieira and guests. Brewer Street W1 (020 7734 3040). Tube: Piccadilly Circus. Sun 9.30pm- 3am, 5, free before 11pm LADY LUCK AT THE LAST DAYS OF DECADENCE DJs play 1960s indie, pop and rocknroll with burlesque performer Jake Vegas plus The Surfin Gorillas, El Nino and Lady Kamikaze live. Shoreditch High Street E1 (020 7729 2896). Tube/Rail: Old St. Fri 9pm-2.30am, 12, 10 before 10pm LOVED UP AT HERBAL Danism, Lady Duracell, Scottie D, Toby G and Nipsy supply deep soulful uplifting house in the main room, with party and house upstairs from Davey G, Honest John, Tracey G, Timmi B and The Lone Ranger. Kingsland Road E2 (020 7613 4462). Tube/Rail: Old Street. Sat 9pm-3am, 10, 7 before 11pm, 6 before 10pm PUMP UP THE VOLUME AT THE UNDERWORLD DJs Patchoulee and Eko play pop, indie and rock from the 1960s to the present day. Camden High Street NW1 (020 7482 1932). Tube: Camden Town. Tonight 11pm- 3am, 6, NUS/w/flyer 4 ROLLER MOTION AT RENAISSANCE ROOMS R&B, hip hop, house, electro, soul and funk. Arches, Miles Street SW8 (0844 736 5375). Tube/Rail: Vauxhall. Sun 7pm-midnight, 11.50-15, 5 before 8pm SHAKE AT THE ELECTRIC BALLROOM Disco and pop from DJ John Osbourne and Paul C in the main room while DJ Milo plays party anthems in room two. Camden High Street NW1 (020 7485 9006). Tube: Camden Town. Sat 10pm-3am, 10, NUS/mems 8 SOHO CHIC AT LVPO Residents spin funk. Dean Street W1 (020 7434 3399). Tube: Leicester Square. Sat 9pm-3am, 8, free before 10pm SIN CITY AT THE ELECTRIC BALLROOM Stevie C, Riyad, Tony Madball and Demonic play contemporary rock and metal in the main room, while Shuff and Vixen spin classic rock and metal in room two. Camden High Street NW1 (020 7485 9006). Tube: Camden Town. Tonight 10.30pm-3am, 7, 5 before 11.30pm with flyer SOUNDCRASH AT KOKO Electronic music night featuring Plaid, Clark, Tim Exile, Luke Vibert, Grasscut and resident DJs. Camden High Street NW1 (0870 432 5527). Tube: Mornington Crescent. Sat 9pm-3am, adv 15 SOUL FRIDAYS AT STANZA The residents spin R&B, 1990s soul and funky house. Shaftesbury Avenue W1 (020 7494 3020). Tube: Leicester Square. Tonight 9pm-late, guestlist 10, ladies free before 11pm Nick Mohammed In Apollo 21. An Edinburgh preview from the Quarters comedian. Sun 7.30pm, 7 Sketch. Sketch comedy troupe. Sun 3.30pm, 7 PLEASANCE THEATRE Carpenters Mews, North Rd, N7 (020 7609 1800). Tube: Caledonian Rd Simon Amstell. Work-in-progress from the Never Mind The Buzzcocks host. Sun 8pm, 10 & 12 Simon Brodkin: Still Not Himself. Character comedy. Tonight 9pm, 6, concs 5 Ashley Hames & Guests. The comic previews his new material, focusing on women, the media and good times. Tonight 7.45pm, 5 My Name Is Sue. Musical comedy. Sat 8pm, 5 SOHO THEATRE Dean Street, W1 (020 7478 0100). Tube: Tottenham Court Road Maeve Higgins - Kitten Brides. Random stand-up humour as the verbal assassin tackles lifes issues. Tonight & Sat 8pm, 12, concs 10 Andrew Maxwell: The Lamp. Subversive humour and sharp social commentary in this work in progress of the Dubliners new show. Tonight & Sat 9.30pm, 10 SOUTHBANK CENTRE Belvedere Road, SE1 (0871 663 2500). Tube/Rail: Waterloo Rhona Cameron. Stand-up from the acclaimed comic, author and Im A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! survivor. Sat 9pm, 15, concs 12.50 The Cutting Edge. A satirical look back at the past weeks news. Sun 9pm, 15, concs 12.50 The Early Edition Presents The Sunday Roast. Marcus Brigstocke and Andre Vincent read over the morning newspapers. With Brendon Burns and Carrie Quinlan. Sun 12.30pm, 10, concs 7 Paul Sinha. The comic tells of his life as a gay, sports-mad Asian doctor. Tonight 9pm, 15, concs 12.50 Stand Up With Pride. With Zoe Lyons, Craig Hill, Susan Calman and Jonathan Mayor. Tonight & Sat 10.45pm, 15, concs 13 LISTINGS Passion PitWednesday, Vibe Bar at 7pm WEVE teamed up with Levis OnesToWatch 5 Night Revue to give away a pair of tickets to see Passion Pit, right, at Vibe Bar next Wednesday. You will also receive two pairs of Levis jeans, and dinner before the gig at a restaurant near Brick Lane. The event showcases cutting-edge music, and the bill also includes Dananananaykroyd, Hockey and Everything Everything. For more information go to: levi.co.uk/lotw To enter text LL WIN followed by a space and then your first name and email address to 65400 before 9am on Monday. Texts cost 50p plus standard network charges. Entrants must be over 18. Terms and conditions apply, see thisislondon.co.uk/lite txt 65400 saturday 14 NOVEMBER 2009 wembley ARENA0844 815 0815 / www.livenation.co.uk www.kasabian.co.uk West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum out now A Live Nation presentation by arrangement with ITB win tickets English National Ballet 0871 911 0200 www.ballet.org.uk Christmas Magic at the Ballet index.html2.html3.html4.html5.html6.html7.html8.html9.html10.html11.html12.html13.html14.html15.html16.html17.html18.html19.html20.html21.html22.html23.html24.html25.html26.html27.html28.html29.html30.html31.html32.html33.html34.html35.html